Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fill me in...

Why do some people put periods in between certain letters in words?? Such as "Wa.l.mar.t" I just dont get it... will someone please tell me why this is done?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Getting lapped

I have this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach that someone, and I don't know who is going to make an "announcement." An announcement that I don't only not want to hear but an announcement that I seriously don't think I can emotionally take. Friends of mine that started trying when I did have babies & are now thinking of trying for #2, friends that started trying years after me are having their babies and here I am... just me. Still just me. No baby on my hip & no baby in my belly. The only baby I have is the baby that is held in my heart. The baby that I may never meet, the baby that may only exist in my brain & in my dreams. I've been carrying around this pain in my heart for so long... when will it go away? Never. I can't see that this could ever get any easier to deal with. Ever. I hate this, I hate it all. I hate that I have to wait 2 more months before I can TRY again. That's all it is... TRYING. I'm tired of trying damn it.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I forgot...

to tell you all that AF showed her ugly face about 10 minutes before my LAP! TMI- when I woke up there was blood on my thighs! Talk about gross! Geez like she couldn't have showed up at a better freaking time. How embarrassing.

Pain has picked up a bit... just took some more Tylenol w/Codeine.. now time for bed!

I made it!

Hi girls! Well I made it through Lap #2! I think I maybe slept 2 hours last night because I was having major anxiety attacks over the whole thing. It went really well actually... my shoulders do hurt from the gas but so far it isn't too bad. Tomorrow will be shitty though I'm sure. My incisions are a little sore and I keep peeing every hour because of the damn cath they put in! My RE got the Endometrioma removed and said there was no Endo in there so I'm all clean =) He did an HSG afterwords and apparently had some troubles getting the dye through one of my tubes. This is the message I got from Jake anyway... I really don't know exactly what he said but apparently he didn't seem to concerned since obviously I will never get prego w/out IVF. The nurse at my RE's office will be calling me tomorrow so I hope to get a bit more info from her. I will try and update tomorrow but if you don't hear from me its just that I can't sit up long enough to post! Hope everyone is having a good week so far!! Thanks for being here for me girls. I love ya!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Crampy and oh so busy

Hi girls! I hope everyone had a great week! I've been so busy and haven't had much of a chance to check every one's blogs lately. I had to do training every night this week at work for our new teller program and had a customer appreciation picnic Thursday night so I literally was home about an hour every night this week before I went to bed! I've been so exhausted from that and the upset of my cancled cycle that I've just haven't been myself all week. Hopefully by this time next week I'll be back to normal and ready to go again! I'm hoping to borrow my FIL laptop this week so I can lay on the couch and keep up w/you all after my lap. I'm so not looking forward to the gas pains... ugh that's the worst. I'm actually really nervous about the surgery. I mean, I've had it before so I know what to expect but for some reason I'm really nervous about it. It just plain sucks ass. I've been having some really bad cramps today and some yesterday... I'm just thinking that this Endometrioma has burst or something... I feel like my abdomen is full of blood or something... I guess we'll see. Hopefully it all "comes out okay" Tuesday. I will update Tuesday night if I feel okay when I get home otherwise I will update Wednesday. I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Oh and I wanted to Congratulate RICHELLE & JENNIFER on their little ones! So stinkin cute! They are perfect! =)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My 25

First off I wanted to say thank you to all of you that sent me such nice comments... you are all so great. I'm still very pissed, hurt and disappointed over the whole ordeal but I guess I will just have to get over it. What else can I do?

1. Who was your first prom date? A "friend" of mine. We never really dated but I think we both wanted to at the time, just never worked out.
2. Do you still talk to your first love? Everyday! I married him =) We've broke up many times and dated other people but we still ended up together!
3. What was your first alcoholic drink? Jack Daniel's Downhome Punch... got really drunk at a party when I was a freshman or something like that. It sucked!
4. What was your first job? Tropical Sno (shaved ice hut type deal)
5. What was your first car? 1993 Chevy Beretta. Pile of shit.
6. Who was the first person to text you today? A friend from work I think.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning? Jake.. he woke me up and I wasn't ready to get up yet! I wanted to slap him.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs Keller. She was meaner than hell!
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane? Long Beach, CA to visit family.
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk? Rachael, and yes... she's still my best friend since 2nd grade!
11. Where was your first sleepover? Stacy's- my parents good friends daughter who is now engaged to my cousin!
12. Who was the first person you talked to today? Jake since he's the one to wake me up!
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time? Faith- friend from HS
14. What was the first thing you did this morning? Grunted and got in the shower
15. What was the first concert you went to? A Perfect Circle
16. First tattoo? None yet but will be a catfish in memory of my dad
17. First piercing? My ears. Now I have 5 in my ears & my belly button done. I never wear any of them though except 1 in each ear.
18. First foreign country you went to? Jamaica!
19. First movie you remember seeing? The Wizard of OZ. That was like my favorite movie growing up. I watched it every day, no lie.
20. What state did you first live in? Illinois, for ever. =(
21. Who was your first room mate? Jake
22. When was your first detention? HA, preschool? No probably not until 7th grade or something.
23. When was your first kiss? Some little boy kissed me in church when I was like 4!
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance? To dance, I love doing it but I suck!
25. Who will be the next person to post this? Meh, no one!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Quick shitty update

Okay so I have to leave the house in about 45min to do some training at work so I have to make this quick....

U/S today reveled my bitch ass cyst/endometrioma is still there and hasn't went down in size at all. Lap is scheduled for 7:15 AM next Tuesday.

IVF #2 will be sometime in November hopefully.

Shitty f*^&Cking day!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Just got off the phone w/my RE nurse and my blood work is back. My Estrogen is really low which makes them think the cyst is left over from a follie? Something like that anyway. I really dont get it. Anyway I continue the BCP and go back Monday for another U/S. Hopefully it will be gone & if so I will start shots next week. ~Fingers crossed~

Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I'm just a mess right now.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

*If you don't like curse words do not read this post. There will most likely be alot of them.

Well IF you dirty bitch you've won again. I am so fucking pissed right now. I have a fucking cyst. How in the hell does that happen when you don't ovulate? Well I asked the same damn question... apparently I've either 1) Ovulated while on BCPs. Highly fucking unlikely considering I don't O on a normal cycle, or 2) I have ANOTHER endometroma which means I get to have another fucking Lap to remove it. Regardless of what the cyst is from IVF #2 is canceled... or pushed back a few weeks at best. They will call me tomorrow w/my blood work so I should know more then. I go back Monday for another U/S in hopes that the cyst has gone down... if not looks like Lap #2 will be taking the place of IVF #2 in a few weeks. Fuck, fuck fuck. I seriously can't even believe this. I am so upset right now... I just this. I just want to quit and say you win IF.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I've returned

Hi ladies! Hope everyone had a great week! I ~think~ I've got caught up on everyone. If I've missed anything please let me know. If not... no news is good news right? =)

The work trip was good. We ate way to much food! I went to Springfield MO to train on a new teller system we are getting at the end of the month. I am going to be extremely stressed out trying to teach everyone this new system & lucky me... we go live w/it the day I get back from my ET. Shit. I seriously just have to make myself not stress out. That's the last thing I need at this point.

I have an RE appt tomorrow afternoon. I'm getting my base U/S. Last BCP is tomorrow, stims Saturday! Yahoo! I feel like I haven't been to the RE in forever! Well it's been since May I believe. That is a really long time. I actually miss the coochie cam & needles in my veins. Ahh the things we do to get KU! I can't believe IVF #2 is actually here. I've been telling myself that this is it, this is going to work but... I still have that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach that it wont. I'm thinking the odds are against me but I just have to hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
I will update you all on my appt tomorrow. Hopefully all goes well w/no cysts or anything. I'm doubting there will be since I haven't O'd in like 6 months! These ovaries are ready for some stimulation! They've been dormant for too damn long!