Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanksgiving Thankful's

I know I wont have time tomorrow night to write what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving so I thought I would just get it done tonight while I have a moment before cooking dinner. Ack.

~Thankfulness in 2008~

1. My husband
2. My family (Mom, brother, yada, yada...)
3. My doggies! I don't know where I'd be w/out them. They ARE my children
4. My house and everything in it
5. My job, even if I don't always like it
6. Being alive, even though I don't always want to be
7. Medical insurance.... I know what your thinking "WHAT this chick is nuts." I actually have pretty decent insurance & am not paying a dime for my IVF which kicks some major ass!
8. My friends, the few that I can call my "true" friend
9. My health, even if I have been screwed by the IF monkey I am in good health otherwise.
10. My dreams. The ones I have in my sleep, that is the only time I can see my dad & I love them.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I've finally made out a budget & I plan to stick to it. We really need to save some serious cash as we have been plowing through it like its nothing lately. I don't know where it goes. I haven't been buying anything out of the ordinary really but every week I seem to be spending more than I deposited. No my account isn't becoming overdrawn but slowly I am depleting my account to the point where there ~will~ be nothing left if I let these habits continue. I'm wanting to save some money in case my IVF doesn't work in December, that way I will have the money to jump right in and try again. I want to save because if I do get pregnant off IVF #1 I want to have some money saved up for the baby, maternity leave, and just unexpected things that ~could~ come up. I made out this budget Tuesday and I thought I was doing really good. Well I have already went over $75 from what I deposited on FRIDAY. 3 damn days! How did that happen? Here's what I've bought...
  • Yankee candle I got the Christmas Cookie. I get one every year. Love em!
  • Groceries
  • Jake got a few new pairs of jeans & a t-shirt for work (From walmart I might add, not expensive)
  • Spent about $50 going out to eat. That right there is $20 more than I said I would spend going to eat in a given week.
  • 2 boxes of outdoor Christmas lights. Okay that was $20 but we had 2 strands that died last year and needed to replace them before we put them out next weekend.
  • Electric bill
  • Water bill

That was IT! Really did I buy anything "unnecessary" besides the candle? I seriously don't think so. I didn't even go over board on the groceries. Fuck. Please tell me... do any of you go by a budget? How do you do it? And ideas for me? How much do you spend on groceries? Do you cook at home every night or do you eat out a few times a week? Are you a coupon user? If so where do you get them?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Pictures of Jeep & house

Here are a few pictures I took really quick of my new Jeep & of the house. They aren't the best quality but I tried! I also wanted to put one on here of my new pillows & sconces in my living room. I think it looks so purdy!

Monday, November 17, 2008

IVF Protocol & randomness

IVF Protocol
  • Start BCP's tonight- December 2nd
  • December 2nd RE appt for U/S, mock transfer, whatever that is, and to go over the shots again as I will be taking some different drugs besides Follistim.
  • Start stim's December 6th
  • December 9- U/S w/frequent U/S that whole week
  • Week of December 15th- ER & ET! I plan to take vacation that week so I can relax & let my little embies get snuggled in.

Holy shit I can't believe this is actually happening! I think I'm finally starting to get excited about it & not so pissed that I ~have~ to go this route. Not that this route is bad because its not. I'm just upset that I cant just be one of the lucky ones that gets preggo the old fashioned way. All though I have to say, its been nice not to have to BD anymore ;).


  • The water & sewer dept. came and cleaned out the man hole in the backyard. Man hole.. that's what they called it. I guess it's not our problem & if it happens again we are supposed to call them & they will fix it again. Too bad I have to be the one to have the "man hole" in my damn yard.
  • I feel like absolute crap. My muscles ache. All of them... my legs, back, neck, arms, ribs. I sure hope I'm not getting sick.
  • I have the day off tomorrow! Yippy! I plan to be quite lazy. I do have to clean house and give Ellie a bath but other than that... I think I'll be watching lifetime & surfing the net.
  • Did I say I got a new Jeep? I love it! I'm so glad we got it. I will have to take a picture of it & put it on here for you guys.
  • I'm going to put my Christmas tree up this weekend. I know, I know I'm a loser. I always put it up early. I just can't wait. I love decorating for Christmas. I wont do the outside the weekend after Thanksgiving.

I think that's all I've got. Have a fantabulous week ladies!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

What a lovely weekend...

NOT! Remember saying that back in the 80's? I'm a dork & I still say it all the time. This has been a pretty shitty weekend. Imagine that. Like I'd have something positive to write about. Once again this is going to be a poor me, I'm pissed off at the world kinda post. I'll start off w/Saturday.

Saturday started off being a pretty darn good day. Work was good, no one pissed me off. I had a nice lunch w/my Aunt from Cali, well that is until she dropped a bomb on me that my cousin was raped at a party over the summer. I feel so bad for her. What do I say? Do I not say anything at all? My little cousin is the funniest, easy going, ditsy blond just like me. I love her to death! I would love to find this guy and kick the shit out of him. I guess there was bruising and tearing but the police weren't going to do anything about it because the guy says it was consensual. Whatever. Apparently my cousin had blacked out and woke up w/the guy on top of her. Sounds to me like she was drugged. Poor girl. She's being going to counseling. I hope that helps her move on.
After lunch w/my aunt I went home, did some cleaning & then got ready to go out to eat & go bowling w/some co workers. The diner was good. Bowling was alright... I of course was the worst bowler. I suck at everything. No one wanted to be on my team. Jake ended up drinking WAY to much and made a fool out of himself & me. Great. We went home, I went to bed & made Jake stay on the couch as I was pissed off at him. I woke up at 4AM to him in the bath room w/the hick ups. I walked in there & he tells me hes been up for hours w/them (he was really drunk) and told him I was glad & went back to bed. I couldn't fall asleep of course. About 15min later & hear him throwing up. I had a big smile plastered on my face. "That's what he gets" I thought. He didn't hick up anymore after that.
Sunday is usually a day of relaxation & grocery shopping for me. Welp I woke up around 7 w/horrible cramps. AF has arrived. I'm glad she is here because I want to start my BCP and get on w/it already. For Pete's sake though... WHY ARE MY CRAMPS SO BAD? All my endo is gone. WTF? I've seriously been in bed all day w/the heating bad on. No TV or anything. Just laying there about to hurt someone. I went into the kitchen to get some more Tylenol and its all gone. Jake took that last of it for his hangover. What a dick! I told his ass to go get me some more & that it was just plain mean of him to do that to me when he KNOWS I'm in pain. He went and got me some Advil & tampons. Thanks hunny.
Not only did I wake up to cramps today but also "craps" Literally. Not mine, not Jake's. We don't know who's but our back yard is having a sewer backup. We are having no problems at our house so I'm hoping to dear god that its not our problem. I'm just hoping that the line is on our property & its the city's problems. Jake is going to call the water & sewer department in the morning. So now we are having to take the dogs in the front yard on leashes to pee. Good lord. Apparently the whole back yard smells like shit & there is even TP in the water. I'm not going to be checking that crap out. No pun intended! Maybe, just maybe my luck will turn around. Ya think? God I wonder how much a new sewer line will cost us? Fuck. I'm going to have to get a 2nd job or something. Wouldn't you know it, something like this would happen right after I get a new car & decide to make a strict budget so we can start saving some $. Saving money. Ha. Like that's going to happen!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Official Failure

My BPT was a BFN so its official. I have failed once again. I am really upset about it. I've stopped the progesterone suppositories and am now just waiting on good ol` AF to come and torture the living crap out of me. I assume she will be here in a few days. After AF starts I will begin BCP's for suppression before IVF. I can't believe that in just a few short weeks I will be starting follistim again for IVF. Totally blows my mind. I'm so scared of IVF. Not IVF itself but the fear of it not working. Then what? What if it never works? Here's to hoping for my Christmas/New Year miracle!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thats a negative

Well I POAS this morning. It was a BFN. I'm only 10DPO so I'm not going to start crying about it. ~Yet~. Jake hid the tests from me in his underwear drawer. I found them and just put them back. I'm not going to tell him. I know BFN's are hard on him too. I will POAS again Thursday & I have my BPT Friday. Hopefully I'll have some better news in a few days! Thanks for all the good lucks ladies!

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Perfect Day

I had such an awesome day today! I was off work which is always awesome plus I went out of town shopping w/my MIL. I found such great bargans and had such a nice time not worrying about ~anything~.

I bought-
  • New pillows for my couch & over sized chair
  • Sconces & candles to go beside a picture that is above my couch
  • A new coat (actually a X-mas present from my mom)
  • A few new work shirts + a fun shirt to wear w/jeans w/matching jewelry!
  • A purse for my MIL for X-Mas

Oh happy day. I found everything on my list that I was looking for and got ~most~ of it on sale. We ate at Panera, my favorite! Then I get home and Jake has an awesome surprise for me... We are most likely getting a new Jeep Wednesday! I'm so excited. I love my Jeep that I have now but this one is 2 years younger and only has 20,000 miles! Its a 2006 and its Dark Caramel. I love it! I actually saw it the other day at the deal shop that we got our current Jeep and had Jake drive by it Saturday night. He said he liked it too but I really didn't think he would actually go in and talk to the guy about it. The dealer said he would pay off what we owe on our Jeep which is way more than what he would normally give us for a trade in. Jake called the bank and our interest rate will be 1% lower so in the end our payments would only be $20 more a month than what they are right now. Sounds too good to be true huh? Anywho... I hope my luck continues through out the next few days. I might POAS tomorrow. I'm going to try and talk myself out of it though. Wish me luck!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

And the award goes to...

Jenny gave me the award of "I love your blog". I personally think my blog is pretty boring but thank you so much! Jenny is an incredibly strong woman & I am so glad I've to got "know" her!

Here are the Rules:
1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog.
2. Link the person from whom you received your award.
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs
4. Put links of those blogs on yours, and
5. Leave a message on the blogs that you've nominated!
  • I'm awarding the I Love Your Blog award to...
  • These girls are just plain awesome! They are always here to send me kind words & keep their fingers crossed for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate each & every one of you!

Weekend randomness

I have a few minutes so I thought I would do a quick little post because I know my life is just so frigging interesting that everyone wants to read about it! Nah, actually I'm just a little board and in the mood to get in touch w/my thoughts.
  • Had a horrible night last night. Going back to yesterday's post. I've just been feeling really sad and sorry for myself. I know I just need to get over that, move on, & look for the best & realize that no matter what happens I AM lucky. I have a lot to be thankful for yet I cant shake my sadness. I had the day off yesterday which was AWESOME so I rented a few movies. I watch P.S. I Love You and bawled through the whole damn thing. Great movie but very sad. Don't watch it during a poor me pitty party because it will ruin your whole night. After that Jake & I made burgers on the grill (sucked by the way) and than watched the movie Strangers. Good movie too, pretty creepy but I like that. All in all yesterday was a decent day other than my crying episodes.
  • Work- Ack. I got a call last night that ____ the new accounts lady went home sick and wouldn't be in today. Fuck. I knew today was going to suck. I ended up opening 10 damn accounts (not my job so I don't like doing this) plus waiting on customers doing their normal transactions. I'm off Monday. Thank god. I need a damn vacation. I'll be amazed if I can make it through the whole day Monday w/out getting a call.
  • Today was my cousins wedding. The one that gave me a bunch of shit about IVF. Obviously I didn't go as it was in Minnesota & here I am at home. I still haven't bought her a card. Not sure if I will. I'm still extremely pissed off at her.
  • Went to a craft show w/my mom after work today. Surprising as we don't do much together anymore. She bought me a new purse. Its so cute! Its brown leather cow print. Other than that I didn't buy shit. They had 1/2 the stands this year as they normally do. I was pretty disappointed.
  • Jake & I are going out to dinner tonight. I can't wait. I love to just sit down together and stuff my face. Its the only time I feel like I can truly relax. I am extremely worried all the time. I told Jake last night I need to have medical marijuana prescribed for me to calm my nerves. I guess that only works for cancer & glaucoma though huh? Haha. No, no I haven't done that in years. That stuff was fun in high school but I've grown out of that stage.
  • On the TTC front- I'm 7DPO and antsy as hell! I bought some FRER tests and I just wanna pee on one! I know I'm setting myself up for disappointment but... I'm really, really, really wanting & needing this to be it. My heart cant take much more of this. I asked Jake if he thought this was it. He said yes because if it wasn't he was going to loose his mind. I agreed so we definitely have all crossables crossed!

I think that's it. I better hop on in the shower & get ready for my wonderful evening w/the hubbie. Um... what shall I have. Everything sounds tasty right now!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Give me a flippin break already!

I'm going to have a bit of a vent about a few things. Either all of these hormones are getting to me or these are legitimate things for me to be pissed off about. I have the day off today. Thank god! Hopefully I can just have some fun by myself today! I'm just so stinking depressed that I could cry at any moment. Ugh... I just want some good news, any news.

1) Vent- Jake's dad can be the biggest tight ass! Of course he will buy himself anything he wants. Jake's parents have it all, a big ass house, motor home, pool, awesome deck, the perfect decorations in the house, tons of cloths, nice ass cars... blah blah blah my list could go on. I'm not jealous of what they have but when Jake works for his dad you would think he would pay him for being gone for my IUI's! Its not like his dad is hurting for money by any means. Jake missing one day of work is a lot to us. Especially right now. For exp: I got our invoices from the Hospital about our HIV tests (My RE requires this before starting IVF, they were negative! Duh) and those suckers cost $429.00 EACH! Good lord almighty. I know my ins. will cover it but I don't know about Jake's. I seriously wonder if his dad thinks Jake likes to drive 2 hours one direction to see the RE. Like he likes getting out of work for it or something! He has no idea how much we hate it! We don't want to be there. If I were fertile like the rest of the family I would have had our baby 6 months ago. I bet when/if I do have a baby he doesn't even pay him for being gone that day. Jake gets no vacation time, sick or personal days. I think its ridiculous. Jake works his ass off trying to please that man and Jake is an awesome carpenter I must say. Of course he doesn't get the credit he deserves either. Don't get me wrong. I love my in-laws and I'm not asking for a hand out but I just think its wrong to deprive your own son of his pay because he has to be gone for IF treatments. Plain ridiculous in my eyes. Your thoughts?

2) Vent- My boss. Male. Chauvinist. Pig. I cant do anything to please him! I'm so sick of it and I want to tell him but I also don't want to loose my job. Let me explain the latest story... I work at a bank as a head teller if you didn't already know that. Well.... we have 2 new account reps 1 of which is on vacation so we have been helping out w/new accounts on the teller line as much as we can. Hello we have other customers to serve too. Well last night a customer wants to open a CD. The new accounts lady is w/someone but is finishing up so I asked him to have a seat. I'd make him a cup of coffee and _____ would be right w/him. So he sits down... no big deal. I went off to balance the vault and so on as this was 15min till balancing time. I didn't have time to open his account at that time anyway. Well apparently he had to wait all of 5 min so he left and called my boss saying that I was nice and all but I didn't offer to open the account. OH. MY. GOD. Are you fucking kidding me? This intern gets me a nice email that I did everything right other than open the account up. Okay... so I told him it was balancing time and ____ was almost done w/the account & I did not see him leave. He tells me balancing should have waited as this customer had a lot of $ to deposit. Okay like I knew that & like that matters. What about the person wanting to open a $25 account? They would have had to wait too. Anyway.... the guy comes back in as I'm locking the doors no less. So I open his fucking CD. $95,000.00 Holy crap. Of course its people like him that call and bitch. I'd played all nicey nice w/him but I could tell he was a going to be an ass no matter what I said. I emailed my boss AGAIN and told him that it was HIS words "If _____ is waiting on someone and no one else is waiting for her & someone wants to open an acct. let them wait. You have to wait everywhere else. Just offer them a cup of coffee or something." Which is exactly what I did yet I get bitched at. I told him I did nothing wrong & I'm sorry but that is what he told us to do. I then when home fighting tears the whole way because I just feel like I can do anything right for him. I feel sorry for his wife.

Okay vent over. I really need to get cleaning plus I have like 50 million errands to run today. I hope you all have a good weekend! Sorry to be such a downer. I'm just pissed at the world I guess.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

IUI #6 & 7 complete!

Well I have officially completed my final IUI's! Everything went well. Jake count was very good yesterday. He had 50+% motility and the count was something like 23mil. My RE was very surprised & pleased as last time we did IUI's his count was terrible. Today's #'s weren't as good. The motility was 40+% motility which was good but the count was 7mil. not so good. My RE was glad that we did 2 IUI's and I have 3 big follies this cycle. He seemed very happy which makes me very happy. I will begin taking progesterone suppositories (ugh) on Monday, Progesterone B/W on Friday and BPT the following Friday. Please wish me luck! This is our last cycle before IVF in December.

~Come on spermies make it to the eggies!~