Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Monday, October 27, 2008

31 Things & Update

I'll start w/my little update. I had another U/S this morning. Things have progressed really well. I have one follie that is measuring at a 1.5 (they like to see 1.8) and 2 others that are following right behind that one & lots of other little ones. I have anther u/s tomorrow w/more bloodwork. I have my fingers crossed that I get HCG tomorrow and have my IUI's Wed & Thursday. My dosage of follistim is the same... 75IU. Follistim has been working pretty good for me. I have to say my tummy is getting a little tender though. The nurse had quite the time getting blood from me today.. seems as though my veins are tired of giving so much blood lately! I will have to switch arms for tomorrow.

1. Where is your cell phone? in my purse
2. Where is your significant other? Sitting in the other room jabbering to me.
3. Your hair color? Blonde
4. Your mother? Elaine...Probably at home
5. Your father? Bill... In heaven
6. Your favorite thing? My doggies and sleeping in!
7. Your dream last night? I donno
8. Your dream/goal? To be a mommy
9. The room you're in? Computer room/office
10. Your hobby? Watching tv
11. Your fear? Not becoming a mommy
12. Where do you want to be in six years? anywhere as long as I'm happy
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not doing? Folding towels
15. One of your wish list items? New end tables. I have glass & they suck!
16. Where you grew up? Good Ol Effingham... still there
17. The last thing you did? Ate dinner. Quizno's soup & sandwich. Yummy
18. What are you wearing? Black dress pants & a black and white polka dot shirt
19. Your TV? 40" Samsung HD LCD
20. Your pet? Ellie & Bree- Dogs, Toby- Cat that lives at my mom's
21. Your computer? Dell
22. Your mood? neutral, tired
23. Missing someone? My dad
24. Your car? Jeep Grand Cherrokee Larado
25. Something you’re not wearing? A necklace
26. Favorite store? American Eagle & Maurices
27. Your summer? B-O-R-I-N-G
28. Love someone? yep
29. Your favorite color? PINK
30. When is the last time you laughed? A little bit ago when Ellie burped
31. Last time you cried? Friday night I think

Friday, October 24, 2008

Back from Appt.

I had my follow you U/S for CD 6 w/follistim. Everything looked good. Not progressing to fast nor too slow. I'm keeping the same dosage of 75IU. I go back on Monday. The shots aren't bad at all. They do sting a bit when the liquid goes it but thats about it. Today was horribly disgusting. My left armpit keeps sweating profusily... only the left. Weird. I applied deodorant 3 times!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

CD3- Update

I just got back from my CD3 U/S and IVF consult. Everything went great! I start Follistim Injects tonight. 75UI. I cant freaking wait! I never thought I'd be so excited to give myself shots. The plan is to do follistim for 8-10 days than HCG & 2 IUI's. Hopefully this will be my cycle! If not... after AF starts I will be taking BCP for 2-3 weeks and than start my IVF meds. We are scheduld for Dec. Things are looking up! Hope everyone is doing well!

Next RE U/S appt is Friday AM. I will update Friday evening!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

On to cycle 15

Af has officially found me today. I started spotting yesterday at 13DPO, AF came today at 14DPO... 1 day earlier than normal. I knew she was coming because I was getting BFN's but still... I have to say I was really sad to see her show. So far I haven't had any cramps at all which is awesome. Hopefully it stays this way. I have an RE appt Tuesday for my CD3 u/s and IVF consult. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm so ready to get to stabbing myself in the stomach! I know, I'm sick! The damned follistim has been sitting in my fridge for months just aching to be used! Finally I will be able to put them to use. I'm scared to death of follistim though. I've heard so many horror stories about being completely hormonally crazy. Please tell me there lies! All lies! My depressed mood has advanced a bit as I had a major breakdown Friday night w/Jake. When I was at work Friday I heard a couple of the girls whispering and I'm pretty sure it was about one of them being pregnant. This girl is 22, already has one kid and cant afford him. I thought I was going to throw up. I tired to just go about my business but all I wanted to do was go home and feel sorry for myself. Then it got me thinking... I have 2 friends that are currently trying to get pregnant and its just a matter of time before they tell me they are expecting. Although I will be happy for them it will be a stab in my heart to hear. I have been trying for a year and a half and damn it I think its my turn! I've done everything I'm supposed to do. Why isn't it happening for us? This was my thinking Friday night as I cried myself to sleep and even made Jake start crying too. He even said this was the worst year of his life and he will never forget it, even when we do have children. This surprised the crap out of me. I feel the same way but I guess I just don't give him enough credit for his feelings. I really need to work on that.

On a better note. Jake and I went to visit some friends in Indiana last night and spent the night up there. I got to do some shopping, went out to eat, had a few drinks and even went to a haunted house! It was pretty cool. It was actually at an old Insane Asylum which made it even more freaky. We had a good time but I'm glad to be home. I always enjoy getting away for the weekend but at the same time I just cant wait to get home. Welp, I better get going. I have some house cleaning to do. I will try and catch up on everyone in a bit! Sorry I've been MIA lately.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sadness & Anger

I'm starting to get very sad and angry about TTC. When I first started and knew there was trouble it was the big pregnant bellies that I was jealous of, maybe at the time what I really wanted was to be pregnant. Now its the bellies, the babies and children of any age. I hate hearing people talk about their kids &/or pregnancy's. I know this is normal but baby fever is really taking a toll on me. I'm 11DPO today and POAS this morning. BFN of course, like I'd expect any thing different. I am pretty bummed about it though. I was hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones that got pregnant after their lap. I never get that lucky though. I never get lucky period. Actually I have pretty bad luck on most things. Anyway I'm just down in the dumps right now. I'm looking forward to my next IUI w/injects & then IVF in December but at the same time I'm so scared of IVF because of the fear of getting a BFN in the end. I just don't see an end in all this right now...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today is....

National Pregnancy & Infant loss day. Please light a candle at 7:00-8:00p.m (your time) so we have a continuous wave of light. This day is to remember all babies that were lost due to miscarriags, SIDS or still births. Keep these babies and their family's in your prayers.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sunday ramblings

Well I'm a bit bored so I thought I would write a little post about a bunch of nonsense that no one really cares about.

I actually have a 3 day weekend this week! Ugh I have been looking forward to it for weeks. It seems like every holiday we have I end up having to work Saturday so I never actually get the 3 day weekend. Not this time bitches! I purposely scheduled myself off because I thought I deserved it! Friday night Jake & I went to a little BBQ deal for work. It was pretty fun. I love the people I work with. They are all nuts & love to drink. Jake of course embarrassed me as usual. I swear I can't take him anywhere. He has actually told my boss a sex story about us almost getting caught by my parents in high school. I almost killed him! Its just stuff like that... he thinks its funny & so does everyone else but... I work w/these people and I'm a supervisor. I don't want him saying this crap to people that shouldn't hear it. Ah well... all in all it was a good time & Jake lived to see Saturday. Yesterday we didn't do crap. I cleaned house and then started feeling like shit so spent the rest of the day watching Lifetime movies. Jake went to the neighbors and sat around a fire. It sounded like fun but like I said I felt like crap. We just got back from grocery shopping and just messing around before we go to Jake's parents for a cookout tonight. Ugh.. I really don't want to go. I just want to rent a movie or something. I'm just in a blah mood. Plus Jake's bro & kids will be there and everyone will be oooing and ahhing over them which will just make me feel even shittier. I'm 7DPO and def. feel like this cycle was a bust. I do keep getting some strange pains in my lower abdomen and have been having them on & off since yesterday. I'm trying to forget about it because I'm sure its nothing. Honestly I just want AF to show up early so I can start the next cycle. If I would end up pg this cycle I would die. Seriously. Which brings me to a funny story...

I went to Walgreen's Friday after work to get some pg tests and here is my convo w/the checkout chick.

Me: Hi! How are you today?
Checker: Oh pretty good how about you?.... Oh I guess you'll find out later huh? Haha.
Me: Oh yeah... I guess.
Checker: Haha... surprise! That's how it happens.
Me: Yeah... have a good weekend.

Christ. I must look like I'm a 16 year old sex addict or something. Hello! I wanted to say to her... actually it would be a huge surprise seeing as I've had 3 IUI's, surgery, multiple clomid cycles and am still not pg. I know she didn't mean anything by it but... I left there just feeling like shit.

Okay... ramblings over. I have to go do some dishes and then I think I'll lay my ass on the couch some more. Shit now I've thought of something else to tell you. Last weekend we drove 1hr away to Terre Haute, IN to get a new TV. We got a Samsung HDLCD. Whatever that is. The picture is great though.. that's why I'm obsessed w/watching TV right now. Jake locked the keys in the jeep while we were there so we had to call a locksmith. What a moron. I made him give me a back rub when we got home since it cost us $50!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Back up!

Temps went back up this morning. Fertility Friend confirmed I'm 3DPO. Yippy!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Never mind

Temps went back down this morning. =(.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I think I O'd!!!

Holy cow. I think I ovulated all by myself! On cycle day 17! This is like so unheard of for me! My temps jumped this morning so I'm really hoping they stay up. I'm sure this wont be my cycle but I'm just glad that I wont have to take provera. I hate that stuff. Every time I take it I end up having like 14-18 day periods. SUCKS ASS! Man it would be so awesome to actually have normal cycles now. I'm pretty sure that the endo was what was causing me not to ovulate. Since it was all over my left ovary and I usually ovulate on my left side. To be honest, I think having the lap and finding all that endo was a blessing in disguise. I'm actually looking forward to AF just to see if I get cramps! OOO a period w/out cramps. How cool! Okay... I'm a dork I know. The little things just amuse the hell out of me.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

IVF scheduled!

Hey ladies! I had my post OP appointment today w/my RE. Everything went good. My incisions are lookin` good. He showed me some pics of my lap and the endo... pretty gross stuff! We are still planning the injectables w/IUI this next cycle and IVF is scheduled for December! I'm so excited! Although I hope this cycle or my next IUI cycle works instead I'm still looking forward to it. He seemed to be pleased w/everything. He said he got all the endo and the inside of my uterus was perfect. He also said that Endo probably was a big reason why I couldn't get pregnant but probably not the only thing. That kind of stinks but we already knew we are dealing w/MFIF too. At least we got one thing fixed. Anywho just wanted to do a quick update. Have a good weekend ladies

Oh yeah... my cousins & aunt have emailed & called. In short... they claim the invite was sent to my mom. I said if thats true I'm sorry for blowing up about it but the part about yelling at my mom... probably unforgivable. They said they were so sorry about everything that has happend and just want us to be a big happy family again. Blah.