The Wonderful World of Jayme

Cleaning lady?

2012-02-07T14:53:00.002-06:00

So my best friends mom cleans houses and charges $15 an hour. She said it would take 2.5 to 3hrs to clean my house. I'm seriously thinking about hiring her. I love a clean house & I love cleaning supplies! But I don't like doing nothing but cleaning and having zero time to myself. When Collin naps I clean. That's it. Maybe sit down and watch a TV show. Maybe. I work 40+ hrs a week and am a FT mommy. I think I deserve to come home to a clean house at least twice a month! She said she'd try and fit me in on Fridays... how awesome would it be to come home after a long week to a spotless house? Of course it will be filthy by Sunday after Collin, DH and the dogs have tracked god knows what into it! What do you think? I could cut down my weekly allowance and spending on stupid stuff. It would be worth it. Right?

Just lovely...

2012-02-03T18:48:00.002-06:00

Have you ever thought about an ex boyfriend... ya know "that" ex. The one you still wonder about occasionally and think "man if I ever run into him I hope I'm looking HOTT so he sees what he missed out on!" Well I just ran into mine and I so wasn't looking HOTT. Makeup hadn't been touched all day, hair could use a good combing, wearing the jeans that make my ass look humongo but were clean this morning. Yep, I bet he's really upset he missed out on this one! Geessh. At least I didn't have Collins snot all over the back of my leg.... or at least I don't think I did.

On aging....

2012-01-25T21:22:00.003-06:00

I'm getting older, there's no doubt about that. I'll be 28 in a few months, young for some of you but I feel oooooooooolllllllllllldddddddddd. Partly because I have to color my hair every 8 weeks or I'd be granny gray. My dad was totally gray when he was in his 30's and my mother has colored her hair ever since I can remember. My brother is 35 and he's almost totally gray. Damn bad genes. The point to my little bitch here is that I just plucked a gray hair from my eyebrow. I'm getting gray fucking eyebrows. You're shitting me.

Hi girls!

2012-01-22T13:43:00.003-06:00

Once again... terrible blogger here! I've been ~trying~ to comment but just haven't had much to blog about lately but I'll do a few bullets while I have a few minutes.

Collin's almost 1 1/2! I can hardly believe it! He's such a big boy. Runs around crazy, climbing on EVERYTHING, repeating everything we say, eating w/a fork off a plate really well, sleeping awesomely.. he's just freaking awesome. He has his moments of OMG this kid's making me nuts! We're definitely into the "terrible two's" already... he has a bad temper and even makes fists and punches the wall or whatever is around him. Yay, I'm guessing he picked that up at the babysitter. He sure didn't learn that from us! It he doesn't get his way he is freaking pissed! Sometimes I just want to laugh at him. Speaking of the babysitter... awesome. I'm so glad we got out of Big Name Daycare. I love where we take him now. Such a relief!

AF found me today. Yippy... she's brought her good buddy Crampy w/her too. Haven't seen him in a while. Haven't missed his bitch ass either. It was a 32 day cycle. Woohoo! I can't believe I have "normal" cycles now. How strange to be normal. :) We're still planning to TTC #2 this summer. I'm so freaked about it. I don't want to go down that road again but I have to. I have to try and give Collin a sibling. I have to. What if something happened to DH & I? He'd need them. I hope no one takes offense to my words... I'm so blessed to have Collin and he has fulfilled all of my dreams and I will be happy with him and only him but I do have to at least try.

Pinterest. Wow... why did someone invite me to this!? I'm addicted. I'm so not creative and I've made 2 projects already! I did a button monogram "N" and a crayon monogram "C." I think they turned out really well too. It's nice to be proud of something I made. DH says they look good too. He might just be telling me that hoping he'll get lucky! LOL

Last night DH and I had a "date night." Collin stayed the night at the IL's and we went out to dinner at C.hil.i's and to L.owe.s. So romantic! Then we came home and listened to music and went to bed by 10:30. We're so lame. It was nice to have a quiet night w/just the two of us though. We've only had that a few times since Collin was born. Funny though... we spent most of the night taking about him anyway!

Well I better get to cleaning... hope everyone is doing well!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T15:36:00.002-06:00

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I know we did. Collin loved his gifts and really enjoyed opening them and seeing all the new toys! Funny, because he has all these new toys now and still wants to play with my camera, phone or anything else he shouldn't be messing with! LOL.

DH got me an open hearts necklace from Kay Jewelers and a digital photo frame. I got him a new gas grill. It's been a great year for us and I hope next year is even better!

Okay what the hell?? Blogger I hate your stinking guts. I can't upload my Christmas pictures now for whatever reason. I tried it last night too. I swear I have more trouble w/blogger anymore. Oh well, I think we're all FB friends anyway so you've seen my pics.

Hello?? Are you out there?

2011-12-08T21:15:00.003-06:00

I've noticed I have a TON of blogs I used to read that are either private or not around anymore. I don't know if some of you have made new blogs or just stopped blogging for some reason but if you are on this list please comment and let me know you're still alive! Some of these haven't blogged in over a year!

~Journey to be coming a mommy~ I remember last time I read you, you were fostering a few kids... you're private now. I'd love to read you and see how you're doing! Please invite me :)

~Listening for little steps~ You haven't blogged since the birth of your twins. How are you guys?

~IVF in Budapest~ I know you decided not to do IVF again just yet but please keep blogging. I want to know how your little guy is doing!

~If these walls could talk~ You're private too Caitlin. I'd love to read you. I hope you are doing okay.

~ Baby Steps~ Again... haven't heard from you in a long time. Hows the little one? She so cute!

~Looking for my Keys~ Robin, I know you said you were "checking out" are you coming back to us? We miss you & I hope you're doing okay. We're FB friends but I know you can't really speak your mind on there!

~The Williams Family Pregnancy Blog~ Is there a new blog I should be following now that you've had the baby? I don't see a link.

As for us, we're good. Collin's a mad man and keeps me busy non stop. He's a typical (almost) 1 1/2 year old boy. In. To. Everything. I will update w/some pictures soon. My computer is so slow!

Yey & Ney!

2011-11-29T12:16:00.002-06:00

Well I called my RE's office this morning and the check is mine! Don't ask me how in gods name I overpaid by $1300 flipping dollars but I'll take it! I asked if I could go ahead and make an appt for a basic check up. I was worried they wouldn't let me because I'm not TTC at this time. Well they told me no, but not because I'm not TTC but because my RE & his partner are retiring and they are closing their doors after the 1st of the year. ~Insert tears here~ Apparenlty they only sent letters to people that were established in the last 3 years. Well it's been over 3 years since my first visit so I didn't get a letter. They said it was a glitch in their system. They are forwarding my records to a different RE that is actually closer to me- 1hr. This RE does everything at his office except an egg retrieval. That has to be done at his "main" office which is about 2 hours from me. No biggie there. I'm used to driving 2hrs to get to my RE anyway. I hope I never have to go there. I hope TTC #2 is easy and we can DIY. Not holding my breath on that one though. If not I hope it's a nice place and I hope I like them as well as my current RE. My RE and his staff are seriously the best. I love and miss them so much. I am so thankful to them for giving me Collin. I can't even express my gratitude. I want to do something for the office but I dont know what. I dont want to do flowers but maybe some kind of food. Ideas??

I'm sorry I've been such a crappy friend... I will get back to commenting. I've been trying to read but have been busy and not commenting so much.

Say what?

2011-11-23T16:50:00.002-06:00

Just opened my mail and I have a $1300.00 refund check from my RE. The memo says "overpayment on account." Huh? I tried to call but their office is closed. Collin's almost 16 months old... it's been 23 months since I've been there. I sure hope it's correct.. but I'm a tad confused and skeptical. Until then.. Happy Freaking Thanksgiving! Had I of known I'd have this check coming in I would have bought the name brand fixens!

My babies not a baby

2011-11-05T11:41:00.002-05:00

Anymore. We fought him so hard with sleeping and now he wont let us rock him. He wants to just be laid in his crib and fall asleep on his own. He sleeps all night. This was what I wanted right? It breaks my heart though. Even makes me cry. I miss my little baby that fell asleep in my arms every night.I miss cuddling him. I miss being needed. He's growing up so fast. Slow down time, slow down.

More Prayers needed

2011-10-17T18:54:00.002-05:00

Please go over to J's blog and send her some love. She lost the baby. Why oh why does this have to happen? It's so unfair.

Prayers needed

2011-10-09T19:32:00.002-05:00

Please go over to E's blog and send her some prayers... her baby boy was born on Oct 5th and may or may not have down syndrome. They wont know until next week. I can't begin to imagine what they are going through right now.

Baaa

2011-09-30T18:06:00.000-05:00

I'm still having trouble leaving comments. Anyone else?

^J^!!!!!!!!

2011-09-28T11:27:00.003-05:00

Okay I can't leave a comment for some freaking reason but....... OMFreakingG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS! I am so flippin excited for you! This is the best news I've heard in a long time! Holy cow! Yikes! WoohoO!! Tears of joy for you!

We're alive & well

2011-09-25T13:45:00.004-05:00

Yup crappy blogger alert here! Doesn't seem like anyone has been blogging much lately. Or maybe I'm just way out of the loop because of my absentness. So sorry. Nothing too exciting has been going on w/us but I will do a little bullets here just to say a few things!

Collin is 13 1/2 months old. He's running around, talking (well he knows what he's saying anyway) non stop, making me laugh constantly and just an all around happy boy. He's doing better w/the sleeping. Put him down after rocking him (not giving up the rocking) and he's out. He will sometimes wake up in the night and we just lay him back down and he's usually asleep within a half hour. I'd say he's been sleeping all night about half the time. Progress! I will get some pictures on here at some point... I'm bad I know.

Collin & I took a Musikgarten class over the summer that was just 6 weeks and we start a whole semester- 15 weeks the first week of October. I'm excited! He had so much fun last time and I know he'll love this one since he can do so much more now. He loves music. DH plays or used to play I should say the guitar and Collin loves walking by and playing the guitar. He love being outside so I'm hoping this will help keep him occupied this winter when it's too cold to be outside!

I had a 28 day cycle this month! Yay! I was shocked. My cycles still aren't consist ant but they haven't been longer than like 34 days which is pretty freaking awesome for me. I'm worried though TMI... AF has been super heavy, clotty and I've been having bad pains in my rectum. What could that be? Oh and I was having weird stomach pains before AF arrived, on my left side mostly. I'm worried the endo is coming back. Ugh. DH & I have discussed TTC again and we will probably try this summer. I thought I'd give myself 6 months DIY before seeing an RE. Guess we'll see how that goes. We could change our minds though... I'm not sure we're ready to hop on that train again and I'm not ready for the emotional side of it. I have to try though, not only for myself but for Collin. I want him to have a sibling. He'll need them when DH and I are gone someday. I just hope god lets it happen. Never the less... I've been blessed w/Collin and I will never forget how lucky I am.

Works the same- still not getting credit I feel I deserve. Still not getting promoted when other not so worthys are. I guess I'm not kissing the right ass! LOL. Ah well it is what it is. A paycheck. Small but better than nothing right =)

Couponing- I freaking love it. It's like a high for me. I'm a shitty couponer and often get ripped off when I think I'm getting a deal but hey it's fun and it gives me something to do. Not to mention that I have body wash, toothpaste and tampons to last us clear though next year.

I'm trying to grow my hair out- I hate this stage. It looks like crap. It will be nice to have it long again though.

Last night we had a wedding reception. Left there about 8 so C could go to sleep. After that I went to have a drink w/an old neighbor of mine. We grew up together. He's like a brother to me. He moved 9 hours away after he got married and I haven't seen him since. That was a year ago but seems like a lot longer! Anywho so he tells me to meet him at this pavilion. I figured his family would be there because it's a usual hangout for them. Nope, it's his 10 year class reunion! I felt like such a dumb ass. I walk up there like WTF are these people and where is the fam? I gave him a hard time about that one! He still swears he told me it was his reunion. I reread the face.book convo and no he didn't! It was a nice visit though. His wife was there so I was talking to her most of the time. I think it made her feel better because she didn't know anyone there either.

Well I only have about an hour before C wakes from his nap so I better do something productive around the house. I hope everyone is well and I'm sorry I've been a bad friend to you guys lately. Maybe life will calm down a bit and I can start blogging more! Someday!

The cry it out method....

2011-09-02T21:10:00.002-05:00

Sucks.

No, Collin isn't sleeping through the night and no, he doesn't fall asleep on his own. I've been babying him by giving him a bottle & rocking him until he's out and giving him a bottle at night followed by getting in bed w/me and going back to bed. Ugh. Why did I start this? I know why... because I LOVE holding him while he sleeps and I LOVE rocking him and I LOVE cuddling. The only time he lets me hold him like that is when he's falling sleep and he just stares up at me and melts my heart. He's 13 months now... I know it's over. ~sigh~ We've been giving him a snack and a sippy w/milk before his bath and then just rocking him for a few minutes and then putting him in his crib. He screams for about and hour before he either pukes, poops or passes out. I prefer the latter. We go in and check on him every 10 minutes and kiss him and lay him back down. I HATE THIS! I know he's just crying for me and I'm making him lay there and cry. I guess this is the first of many feelings like this. It's time... I know it is.

Checking in!

2011-08-21T18:45:00.002-05:00

Hi girls! How's everyone? Seems like blogland hasn't been moving much lately... where has everyone gone? I hate that we don't keep in touch like we used to anymore. We need to find some big chat room again so we can all bitch together at the same time! haha. I don't have anything too interesting to report. Same ol same ol. Collin's fingers are fine. The next morning it was like nothing happened. Now he has a big old bruise on his forehead. I'm sure he'll have one of those for the next year! Seems like he's constantly crashing into something. Toddlers! We got into the baby sitter I've been wanting! Not sure if I'd already told you guys that or not but he starts on Sept 6th! I put his notice in at the daycare we're at now and the director didn't say a word. Not even an "okay." Whatev, 2 more weeks! Ahhh... Can't wait! Welp that's about it... I think DH and I are going to watch a movie. It's only 6:50 and Collin's in bed. He only took about an hr nap today and was falling asleep at the table so we decided to just give him his bath and put him to bed. Now I just hope he doesn't wake up at 3am ready to party!

Ouchie

2011-08-14T20:07:00.003-05:00

Collin burned the tips for all four fingers on one of his hands today on the grill... I feel terrible. I know how bad burns hurt. My poor baby. We should have been watching more closely. Lesson learned.

Birthday Party!

2011-08-07T10:41:00.003-05:00

We had Collin's birthday party last night. It was a good time! He got lots of cool toys and loved his cake. He did surprisingly well for all the people that were around. Enjoy the pics!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLLIN!

2011-08-04T12:09:00.003-05:00

It's Collin's first birthday... wow where has the time gone? I can't believe that it was an entire year ago that he was born. Doesn't seem possible. He's a walking babbling fool now! I can't even begin to describe how lucky I feel today. I have a happy, healthy one year old son. What more could I ask for? I have been blessed. Happy Birthday Collin. Mommy & Daddy love you more than you will ever know!

Wandom Wednesday

2011-07-20T20:38:00.002-05:00

Yup, Wandom like Elmer Fudd.

Collin's now 11 1/2 months. Holy crap. He's taking 10+ steps at a time and I'm sure he'll have this walking business down by this bday in 2 weeks. 2 weeks. Depressing really. I don't want him to grow up. His party is all planned and ready to go. I'm really looking forward to it. I promise to take lots of pictures! I can't believe I almost have a toddler. =( We switched his car seat tonight so he's now in this in my car and this in DH's truck. DH's brother had the Graco seat in their basement and weren't using it so we traded that for our Rock Band. We never played anyway. Took up space. We put him in them tonight and he cried. I hope he likes it a little better tomorrow! Sleeping... not. going. well. We went to the Chiropractor Monday and she claims his "neurotransmitter switch" is turned off. Whatever the hell that is. Said it would take a few visits to get it back on so he sleeps. Huh. Well we're going back tomorrow so we'll see how he sleeps tomorrow night! The last 2 nights have been pure HELL. He screamed for 2hrs last night. Yeah, this crying it out method doesn't work on this kid. He's persistent as hell! He wont give up until you come in and get him! So far he's been asleep for 1/2 hr but I'm just waiting for him to wake up.

I started spotting last week and haven't stopped. It's very light. Old blood w/a tad bit of red in it. Go figure. I knew my cycles wouldn't stay normal for long. I need to schedule my yearly anyway so I'll talk to my lovely GYNO then. Sucks that my RE isn't in my network anymore or I would go strait to him. I may call them anyway just to get their opinion. I'm sure my GYNO will just try and put me on the pill and I don't want to do that (we are using the ol` pull out method. Yuck!). That is my last resort. Never helped my cycles before anyway so why bother now. We still aren't TTC nor are we talking about it. Maybe we'll change our mind after Collin starts sleeping but for now it's not even a question. Plus we can't afford it. Can't afford daycare for 2 kids let alone IF treatments.

We aren't building =(. Makes me very sad. We got our estimate back which was great. DH could build it and our payments would be the same as they are now BUT the property taxes in that neighborhood are ridiculous and that alone would make our payments $300+ more a month. Not in the cards right now. We've decided to go ahead and put hardwood down in our living room and hallway and do some more painting. I figure if I'm stuck here I may as well enjoy it.

I've been really missing you girls lately. I'm not sure what it is but I've been thinking of you a lot lately. Just thinking about when we all started this shitty journey and how it's ended for some and still going on for others. I just wish we all could get our dreams. Hearts & Hugs.

Collin just started crying- slept for 45min. Now the fun part begins.... I hate this. I just want to go get him right now! This is so hard...

Coupon giveaway

2011-07-14T19:18:00.001-05:00

I have 2 $5 coupons for Enfagrow. It's basically a formula for toddlers. I don't plan to use it but if any of you are or plan to let me know & I'll be happy to mail them to you. They expire Sept 30th!

11 Months & an Anniversary

2011-07-10T20:55:00.003-05:00

~11 Month photo~

I'm a little late but Collin turned 11 months on the 4th! Doesn't seem possible. He's taking steps by himself so I'm sure he'll be walking all over by his birthday. He jabbers non stop and is all around a happy boy. He did have another ear infection on Thursday but now that it's all cleared up all is good. He's still not sleeping well... getting up about once a night for a bottle. We plan to do the cry it out method tonight. We'll see how that goes! It's so hard and I cave after about 15min. He shouldn't be getting up though, he needs to learn to self soothe and I know this. It's just hard to let him cry. I constantly think something is wrong w/him and that's why he's crying. What if he's hurt, maybe he has a stomach ache and on & on. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll just start sleeping through the night on his own and I won't have to play the bad guy!

DH & I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary yesterday! We went to ST Louis Mo. We went to the Bud.weiser Tour, had a nice lunch & dinner, went out to some bars and back to the hotel by 11! We were tired. DH slept great but I kept waking up. It was nice to get away for the night but I was so ready to come home and see my little man. It doesn't seem possible that we've been married for 6 years... but then again so much has happened in those 6 years. I really don't think I would change a thing.

We are still talking about building a house and we will hopefully have an estimate tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I just hope we can do it for the price I'm wanting. If not, we're stuck here! I love my house but we need more room and I really want to be in a better neighborhood. I guess we'll find out soon enough! Money's a bitch.

Senses

2011-06-29T19:21:00.002-05:00

I was thinking today about our 5 senses. Do you ever smell something or hear something and it takes you back to an event that happened years ago? I will hear a song and remember listening to it in high school and remember exactly what I was doing and who I was with. I will smell something like a persons cologne and it will remind me of how someone smelled that I have seen in years. Sometimes I taste something and it will remind me of how something smells. Like band.aids. Don't ask me how but I swear I have a band.aid taste in my mouth all the time! If I had to choose one of the 5 senses (Sight, sound, taste, smell & touch) to loose I don't know what I would pick. Loosing any of them would be horrible and they are all linked together in a way. I can't imagine. I guess I'd pick taste. Maybe then I wouldn't eat so much crap! What would you pick?

Can't Comment

2011-06-27T21:38:00.002-05:00

I still can't comment on several blogs... just wanted to let you all know I'm reading and trying to comment!! Damn you blogger.

Random Thoughts

2011-06-23T20:29:00.002-05:00

Collin is pulling up and cruising around everything. He makes me nervous. Poor kid constantly has a bruise somewhere on his body from his multiple falls. I can't believe how much he changes in such a short amount of time. I love him more & more everyday. I have his picture as my back ground at work and I'm constantly just staring at it and thinking about how lucky I am to have such a great kid.

My pregnant niece won't accept my facebook request. Little does she know that since she is just ignoring it and not actually denying it that it notifies me of every little post she puts on there. She is so immature and constantly has things on there about wanting to kick so and so's ass and bitches and skanks.. blah blah blah. I'm at a loss for words. This poor baby doesn't have a chance. I was hoping it would change her for the better but it clearly is not. The baby daddy is not in the picture and according to her posts she hasn't even announced who it is yet. I'll be surprised if she actually knows who that father even is. ~Sigh~

We are thinking about building a house! I'm excited yet terrified. It will be in a small town outside of where I live now which will make my commute about 20min- right now I live like 10min from work and go home every day for lunch. It will be a major change not to live smack dab in the middle of town. DH never drives to work- his dad picks him up on the way so he uses little gas and will have to start driving into town and meeting some where. Our gas alone will go up about $40 a week. The land in this town is super cheap because they are trying to build it up. The school system is great and the community itself is awesome. My mom actually lives there w/her BF and the neighborhood we will build in is the same one as her. Not sure if I want to be that close but land where I live now is soooo expensive. We would never be able to afford it. I'm still not sure if we can afford to build BUT DH is a carpenter & his dad's a contractor so we will be doing all the labor ourselves and getting a contractors discount on everything. Cutting down the cost majorly. It will take about a year to get done since we will be working on it during the evenings and weekends but I'm okay with that. I'll let you guys know what transpires on this!

Swear I had more to say but now I'm just tired and have a headache so I guess I'll skedaddle. Hope you are all doing well! XOXO!

Daycare Rant

2011-06-13T16:41:00.002-05:00

Collin goes to a big name daycare here in town. Wasn't my first pick- I really wanted in home but couldn't find anyone. Well luckily enough my first pick- a good friend of mines mother has an in home daycare has an opening in October. Oh glorious day. Well I'm not sure I can hold out until October. Here's the down low...

Collin's in the infant room at the daycare and the head ladies were a mother & a daughter. They were really sweet & I liked them. They seemed to really love Collin which made me feel at ease. Well I noticed a week or so ago that I hadn't seen them in there for awhile. At first I thought maybe they took a vacation or something. Well Friday I asked the 2 girls that I had seen in his room lately where they were. They tell me they don't work there anymore. Ummm okay. I told them that's nice I would have liked to have been notified of that. Grabbed Collin and left. The owner and the director weren't there that day which is probably a good thing because I was pretty pissed. Today I asked the lady (she's always there when I drop him off before they get busy it's just the one lady) that was there when I dropped off if who's room this was now and she said "I don't know, I don't know what's going on." Ummm okay. So at work I'm getting all kinds of fired up and couldn't wait to get him picked up so I could talk to someone who actually knew what the -pardon my French- fuck is going on. Of course no one is there. When I picked him up there was some other baby playing in his crib and he hadn't napped since 11a.m. I told them he needs to be taking naps later in the day because he's been falling asleep in his highchair during dinner. Damn it. I'm becoming one of those overbearing mothers. I don't care... I want to know who's taking care of my child everyday and I want to know why the ladies don't work there anymore. I know they can't give me details but I want to be assured that it has nothing to do w/the care of those babies. Sorry this is so all over the place but I'm a tad bit pissed off. Oh and Collin fell asleep in his car seat on the way home (we live like 5 min away) and it's 4:50. Great. Like he's gonna wanna sleep tonight!

I really don't want leftovers so...

2011-06-11T10:50:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago I was at my in laws for a little cookout. I made spinach dip and beer bread. Apparently my MIL made the same thing and she said she didn't want leftovers so I wasn't allowed to put mine out. They're coming over for dinner tonight. I have a notion to make the same thing as her and tell her we won't be eating hers because I don't want to have leftovers. Hump. Who says that?

Trigs- not me

2011-06-08T20:30:00.002-05:00

~Poss Trigs~

I just got off the phone w/my mom and my niece is pregnant. She's 16. She's a HS drop out. Has no job. No car. Nothing. I say she's my niece but she's actually my brothers ex's daughter. They started dating when she was just a year old so she's basically been my niece her whole life. I knew from the time she was just a little girl that she was going to be trouble. I knew this was coming. She has a different boyfriend all the time. Apparently she does know who the father is and he is her current boyfriend. She's due Dec 19th. I'm speechless. Not surprised but still speechless.. why couldn't it have been one of you? Why a 16 year old girl with absolutely nothing to offer this child. Well she can offer love I guess so I shouldn't say nothing. The child will be loved I have no doubts about that. Ugh I just don't know what else to say.

Another wammy- my best friend is having a hard time TTC. She has large fibroid tumor which is pushing out her uterus. They said if they tried to remove it they would have to remove her uterus with it because it is so large. She isn't ovulating and they think she has endo. Though she hasn't had a LAP yet to confirm. They said it's possible she could get pregnant but it will probably a long battle and if she does she will be extremely high risk. My heart breaks for her.

Day's like this just suck. Plain and simple.

10 Months

2011-06-05T20:34:00.001-05:00

Where does the time go?

Coupons & comments for my girls

2011-06-02T20:00:00.003-05:00

~Still having trouble w/blogger but don't want you ladies to think I've forgotten you!
-Tanya- Praying for you! We are here for you always. Lots of (((HUGS)))
- Sarah- Congrats on the boy! So glad everything is looking good & can't wait to see the u/s pics!
-Robin- ((((HUGS))) I'm so very sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through. We are here to lend a shoulder.
I'm sure I'm missing others that I've wanted to comment on. Hopefully blogger will get its crap together SOON!

On to my obsession w/coupons. Coupons. I love em! I'm trying/wanting to become an Extreme Couponer! I don't have the space for a gigantic stock pile but just saving money on my groceries in general would be fabulous! Money's tight and our grocery bill is one of our biggest expenses. Thus I'd like to scale it down a bit. I've been getting my coups in the paper, coupon.com and couponmom.com. Any other sites that you ladies go to? I used to have a blog that I followed that had different stores and deal at each of them but I can't find it. I'd love to join a coupon club of sorts but don't even know how to go about doing it. I'm in no way shape or form anywhere near as good as the girls on Extreme Couponing BUT I'm trying. We don't have crap for grocery stores around here and no one doubles or matches your coupons so getting something for FREE is nearly impossible. I do however think I'm getting a deal for my trip this weekend... at Save-A-Lot. I'm getting....
3 boxes of Hamburger Helper- $1 each- .75 coupon= 2.25
4 packages of Knorr rice- $1 each- (2) .50 off 2 packages coupon's= 3.00
1 Fisher Boy Fish sticks- $1 (no coupon just like these & they're cheap)= 1.00
6 cans of Pringles- $1 each- (2) $1 off 3 cans= 4.00
Total= $10.25

I didn't think that was too bad considering all the stuff I'm getting. PLUS I joined their Smart Shopper club and got a coupon for $5.00 off my purchase of $25 or more. Woot!

~Collin update~
He's crawling. Everywhere. Pulling up. On everything. My house is soooo not baby proof and I'm reminded of this every time I tell him "no" or pry something from his tiny fingers. He's gotten into the dog food. Twice. I've got my work cut out for me. He's a mover!

Blogger

2011-05-30T13:18:00.002-05:00

Blogger- you suck. Why oh why won't you let me comment on ppl's blogs!? GRRR

I'm a ~terrible~ blogger

2011-05-13T21:18:00.002-05:00

So freaking sorry, I'm a horrible blogger. I can't believe how long I go w/out blogging these days. Some days I just don't have time, other days I'll start to type something and stop because I think it's stupid. I just don't have much to say I guess. I'm still here. I'm still reading. I'm still praying for all of you. I was just looking through my list of blogs I used to read faithfully and so many of the ladies haven't blogged in 6+ months. If you girls are still out there, please say something. Put a post up to just to say you're still alive. It sucks not knowing what happened to some people when at one time we knew everything about them. Some I don't know their last name so I can't even look them up on FB. I wonder what they are doing now. Did they go on to have babies? Did they give up? Are they happy? So many unanswered questions when someone just up and disappears like that. Not cool girls!

I've been good. I don't remember what I last blogged about but Collin now has his 2 lower teeth. Finally. Was getting worried! He's soooo close to crawling but hasn't figured out how to move his legs w/his arms. He's pulling up on everything. He despises baby food. He's now eating table food for almost all meals. It's weird seeing on his paper from daycare that he had a chicken patty or sloppy joe for lunch! It's all very small pieces, don't worry. We aren't feeding him full blown sandwiches! haha. He's sleeping much better now. We put him on his belly and he falls right to sleep after his night time bottle. He was sleeping through the night but the last 4 he's gotten up around 4 but fallen back to sleep after a bottle. I can't wait to sleep through the night every night again! Well, I could go on all night about things he's doing right now but I know no one wants to read that.

I'll end the night by saying how much you all meant to me during my TTC/IF/IVF crap. I don't know how I would have made it w/out you. Well I do know actually. I wouldn't have Collin. I wouldn't have been knowledgeable enough to do anything about IF. I would have never known to go to an RE. Nothing. I def never thought I'd do IVF 2 times before I'd have a baby. Ugh, okay now I'm just getting tired and rambling. Night ladies!!

Prayers Needed

2011-05-03T11:29:00.002-05:00

A good friend and coworker for mines son was diagnosed with this before he was even born. He's had to have MRI's done since birth every year. Well, one tubor has developed in his brain so they have been doing MRI's every 6 months. He just had an MRI done yesterday and found that the tubor has grown again. They will do another MRI in 6mo and will most likely do surgery after that. Please send this little guy some prayers. He's such a little sweet heart. So far he has no developmental delays or skin problems. If you were around him you'd have no idea he had this problem. Luckily they found he had tubors during a routine u/s when she was pg so they've been able to monitor it accordingly. Again, say a prayer for the family and I will try and update you when he has his next appt. Thanks!

Friday smiday

2011-04-29T19:00:00.002-05:00

Hi ya'll! It's Friday. Woohoo!!! I have quite the exciting weekend planned and I'm anxious to get it a rollin`. Here's a list to do list for the weekend...

Friday night- Trec Race. What's a trec race you might ask? Well it's a tricycle race to raise money for a bike trail in town. I'm home and finished already. My team sucked. We were out in the 1st heat. It was myself and 3 other people from work. Maybe next year!!
Saturday morning/afternoon- grocery shopping, shoe shopping for Collin, jean shopping for myself, Mother's Day shopping, and birthday present shopping. That's a lot of shopping to do!
Saturday night- Bachelorette Party! Woohoo can't wait!! A girl from work is getting married next weekend. We're taking a bus around bar hopping. Woo a night out. I'm so excited!!
Sunday- Baby shower for my cousin from 1-3, then b-day party for my nephew from 4-6. Fun filled party day. This will be my first baby shower since Collin. I wonder if it will still be weird. I wonder if I'll still be somewhat upset. I still don't like pregnant people. I still think they're all fertile skank bitches. I guess I probably always will.

Now for some random stuff. I'm sure it will be really boring so read if you want!

I didn't get the promotion at work. I really don't understand why. My boss flat out told me I was basically doing that job already and had nothing bad to say about me that would make him not pick me. Alas, he picked someone else and made me her assistant. Huh? I really don't like being an assistant to someone when I'm already doing their job and have been for years. Someday maybe I'll get the credit I deserve. Until then, I'll stick w/being a peon and making jack crap.

Collin's 2 bottom teeth have finally came in! They haven't raised up yet but the are cut through and should be all the way up w/in the next few weeks. I'm so excited. I was getting worried that he wasn't going to have teeth!

Rain! Ack. We have had so much rain our house is going to float away. Thank god this weekend is supposed to be decent. Our yard needs mowed BAD!

Did I seriously just blog about the weather? Am I really that lame? I'm not even going to erase it because I really have nothing better to talk about. Gawd.

Ellie is doing better. We got her urine checked again and she is free from bacteria. We are going to retest urine & blood in 3 months. Hopefully she is good to go and sticks around a little longer. Love my little doggie!

As I've said before I joined the "chub club" at work. I've lost 2 lb! I'm really excited about that. 2lb isn't much but I only needed to loose 8 so 2 is pretty darn good I think!

We're watching the Book of Eli tonight. We've already watched it a while back it was so good. If you haven't seen it get it!

Well it's getting to be bath time so I better skedaddle. Later ladies!

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T13:35:00.001-05:00

I hope you are all having a great Easter. Nothing too exciting to report so I'll leave you with a few Easter pictures. Hope you are all doing well!

9 Month shots!

2011-04-19T12:38:00.002-05:00

Okay Collin's only 8 1/2 months but I got his 9mo shots taken today. Hope you like these! Please don't say anything on FB. They are a suprise for mine & DH's mom for Mothers Day.

Random Bullets

2011-04-04T20:47:00.005-05:00

Collin is 8 months old today! I have no idea how much he weighs but I'd say 20+lb. He's trying his damnedest to crawl but hasn't figured it out yet. For now he's rolling all over the place. He's wild & crazy & I fear that I'm going to have a wild child on my hands!! With his red hair he reminds me of Junior from Problem Child! Haha

I redecorated our computer room. It was a hodge podge of mismatched furniture and now it all matches and looks great! I got a leather futon and a corner computer desk. Makes the room much more open & de cluttered. I'll post some before & after pics when I'm completely done!

I'm up for a promotion at work. Me & 2 other people. I'm terrified. I'm so afraid I wont be chosen and will forever be stuck in the position I'm in. I like my job don't get me wrong but I really need to be making more money. It's so tight around here right now... I'd just like to have some wiggle room!

I found in home day care for Collin! It's one of our good friends mom's. She comes highly recommended and finally has an opening in October! I can't wait. Collin & I are going for a visit tomorrow to check it out. It will be perfect... she lives only a few blocks away & will be saving us $110 a month! Can't beat that =)

My vaginal cyst is gone. Weird huh? It just disappeared. Must have been a clogged duct of some sort.

Nothing else has been said about my mom, brother and the money. I doubt if she even said anything to him. Too bad she's been giving him $2000 a month now on top of everything else. His job is seasonal so apparently she's paying him a monthly salary for the winter. Again... WTF? Oh well, don't worry about little ol me over here. I'm just rolling in the dough! HAHAHAHAHA NOT!

I've joined a "chub club" at work. Ugh.. I really don't have that much weight to loose, maybe 10lb but I just need to tighten and tone. My belly is still all saggy and sometimes I still look pregnant. I've been lazy. I have to start exercising. I'm hoping this motivates me.

Ellie update- we did a urinalysis on her and she has a bacterial infection. The vet put her on antibiotics but they are not settling with her. Every time we give them to her she vomits, at least once. They are waiting on the culture to come back tomorrow to see if they will change her antibiotic or what we will do. She is also on a kidney diet now instead of the liver diet from Hills.Science.Diet. I'll keep you posted. So far other than the antibiotic upsetting her tummy she's acting fine. My poor fur baby.

I think that's all I've for for now... time for some R&R!

Hey Anon!

2011-03-30T19:36:00.003-05:00

Go fuck yourself. Yeah, you're really a nice person... yet you can go bad mouth my girl Allison when you don't even know her! I don't give two shits what you say about me on here. Go ahead, I find it amusing. I'm not a nice person. Telling me to get over it about my dog... I hope you burn in hell you worthless piece of shit. Thanks for giving me something interesting to blog about =P

Worried

2011-03-29T20:53:00.003-05:00

Tonight was my dogs yearly shots & checkup. Ellie- my sickly blind peek-a-poo has this. She's on a special diet & gets meds 3 times a day. She's been doing great & her blood work has always came back in the normal range. Not this time. Her kidney enzymes were elevated. This is not a good sign... my vet said she's not sure what to do because she has never had a dog w/a shunt live as long as Ellie has so she hasn't seen the disease get to the kidneys like this. She is going to contact the Hills Vets w/science diet and see what they have to say. She's supposed to call us tomorrow. My vet is the best. Ellie almost died a few weeks after we got her and thanks to our vet she lived. She didn't give up on her. We will never give up on her. It breaks my heart though... I can't loose my Ellie. She was by my side through the worst times in my life. The loss of my dad, IF... she was always there for me. I love this dog so very much. She was my baby for 6 years. Please pray for her. Pray that it is an easy fix and she stays with us for many years.

Answers

2011-03-27T20:10:00.003-05:00

Thanks for all the comments ladies! I'm still trying to figure out what I really want this blog to be about but for now I'll answer the questions that were asked a few days ago... Are you and Jake going to TTC again? Yes, we plan to TTC probably when Collin is 2 or so. We plan to DIY for about 6 months and then see my RE again and start the IVF process. If so, when? Well I already answerd that, hehe, but I do believe when Collin's a few years old. I could change my mind though! How has being parents changed your relationship with DH? Yes, how could it not? Our whole life is different w/Collin being here. We don't get much time alone together. Okay ZERO time alone together. We're tired & cranky so we pretty much just go through the steps and go to bed. Hopefully things will slow down for us so we can spend a bit more time just the 2 of us. Has being a parent changed your social life much? Not really... we didn't go out much before he was born anyway. Most of our friends had kids & I was distancing myself from them while TTC. Now that he's here we bring him w/us when we go somewhere and just come home early. If our friends don't want him there then that's just too damn bad!

Holy Shit & time to change it up!

2011-03-22T11:30:00.002-05:00

First off I want to say that my blog has gotten so dull & boring. I mean really, do you really want to read updates on Collin's growth & nothing else? Everything Collin is certainly exciting to me but boring to everyone else I'm sure. Of course I will still be posting his updates but I vow to post some exciting new things as well. I need ideas though. What could my blog be? What would you like to read? I've lost so many readers or maybe just comments since Collins birth. I know it's part because of my IF readers. I don't blame you. I couldn't read Mommy blogs either. Miss you guys though! And part because I'm so damn boring. I need the old damn it all, screw this Jayme back. This mommy stuff is making me weak & soft =) I'd like to do an interesting Q & A post in the next few days. Ask me anything, anything at all and I will answer it honestly. You can ask something funny, serious, whatever! Please & thank you!

Now for some HOLY SHIT! You may want to run to the bath room and tinkle real quick because this story might make you pee yourself... It's about Collin, poop & DH toes.

Last night I was getting Collin ready for his bath. Took his clothes off and then his diaper. There was a tad of a poop streak in his diaper but nothing out of the ordinary. Kids had poop problems from day one. I wiped his butt and handed him to his dad- bare assed. Out of no where the biggest turd I have EVER seen comes out of Collins butt. It lands on the bath room sink, rolls down the front of the vanity and lands on DH's bare toes with a splat. Somehow there was poop all over the sink, Dh's shirt & of course his toes. I've never seen anything like it. I'm trying to keep it together and get Collin cleaned up and in the tub while DH's cleaning poo off of virtually everything in the bath room. I've got tears rolling from laughter, Collins crying because he didn't even know what just happened. Dh's didn't see the humor in it... I thought it was hilarious. Okay so maybe you aren't about to pee yourself but trust me if you were here, you would have.

I did it & ABC's of me

2011-03-08T20:39:00.002-06:00

Well I talked to my mom tonight. It was basically a waste of my breath. All she said was that she would talk to my brother about the money she gave him and try and get him to pay her back. She says she understands how I feel but that there was nothing she could do about it. She doesn't have the money to give to me and she knows my brother will never pay her back. I feel better that I got it out but nothing will ever come of it so I will always be resentful about it. She kept changing the subject and turning it around to being about her and how she went through so much when my dad died. I told her she wasn't the only one that lost him and she said it was different for her. It was, I understand that but I hate that she minimizes my pain because of the pain she felt. I lost him too. I feel like no one really gets that... Anywho something fun now!

A. Age: ...26- for another month anyway!
B. Bed size: Queen, shared with DH, Ellie & occasionally Collin.
C. Chore you dislike: Dishes & cleaning the bath tub
D. Dogs: Ellie- peke-a-poo, Bree- border collie mix
E. Essential start to your day: Shower otherwise I'll never get up!
F. Favorite color: Pink
G. Gold or silver: Silver
H. Height: 5'2
I. Instruments you play(ed): Flute & Trumpet in Jr High. I sucked though!
J. Job title: Head Teller at a bank
K. Kids: Collin- 7 months
L. Live: Illinois
M. Mom’s name: I'd rather not say on here sorry! Starts w/E
N. Nicknames: Jay Bird, Jaymo, Jameson
O. Overnight hospital stays: Having Collin
P. Pet peeves: People that scam the government for free money!
Q. Quote from a movie: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.
R. Righty or lefty: Lefty
S. Siblings: Brother 7 years older than me
T. Time you wake up: 5:30
U. Underwear: ? yep gotta have those
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Cauliflower
W.What makes you run late: Collin spitting up or pooping when its time to leave!
X. X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, ankle, uterus
Y. Yummy food you make: I'm a horrible cook
Z. Zoo animal favorites: Monkeys
Now it is YOUR turn....

I'm doing it

2011-03-07T18:55:00.003-06:00

I think I've finally worked up enough courage to say something to my mom about this. I can't take it anymore. It's eating me alive. I have so much anxiety right now... I have to say something though. I have to. Wish me luck girls! I'm going to need it...

7 months stats & updates on ME

2011-03-06T14:02:00.003-06:00

Gosh I'm a horrible blogger. I'm so sorry girls. I have been reading but usually do it at 2am bottle feedings and don't get around to commenting much. Here's some updates on us!

Collin turned 7 months on Friday. Holy crap. Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday I was still pregnant and now he's sitting up and almost crawling. He's eating like a pig. He eats a fruit & oatmeal for breakfast, fruit & a veggie for lunch, a veggie, meat & sometimes fruit for dinner. PLUS bottles! He has some chunky thighs! haha. I need to upload some recent pictures. He changes every day. He's constantly doing something new and more advanced. He's just growing up too fast! I can't believe I'll be planning his birthday in just a few months!
Now for my update- I have some sort of a cyst on my vaginal wall. Gross. Dh noticed it a few weeks ago so we were waiting to see if it got bigger and it has. It started out the size of a raisin & now its more like the size of a pea. I'm going to wait a bit longer and see my GYNO about it. I just really hate to go the the doctor and pay another $2200 this year. I have no idea how much it would even cost to get removed or what the hell it even is but from what I've researched its probably this. Wonderful. My lady parts are stupid. I just want to be normal. Is that too much to ask for? GRR. I'll keep you posted on that one!
Last night (Saturday) we went to St. Lou.is MO w/people from my work. The bank paid for our hotel room and we go to do whatever we wanted. It was a nice getaway for DH & I for the night. We went out to dinner w/people from work. Went to a bar w/a live band and was in bed at the hotel by 10:30! We are getting old! It was a good time but I was ready to get home & see my little man. We were away from him for 24hrs. The longest we've been apart. Before we fell asleep Dh & I looked at pics of him on my phone. I'm in love ;)
I hope you ladies are well & I will try and come out of the bloggy closet & comment more often. My prayers are w/you girls always! We are due for some good news around here!

6 month pictures!

2011-02-20T19:55:00.002-06:00

We got Collin's pictures taken here. I think they turned out really well! For some reason the pictures they enhanced aren't online so the really good ones aren't on here. Boo. I hope you like!

I have a 4 day weekend! It's Sunday already but I'm looking forward to spending some quality time w/Collin Monday & Tuesday, just the 2 of us. I hope the weather is nice so we can go for a walk or something!

I think this week has been one of the worst blogger friend week. If you haven't done so already please stop by Kellie's blog and send her some hugs for the loss of her daughter. Also, Sherry recently had a failed IVF cycle. I know how hard those can be so please go show her some love as well. She's being strong and I hope she can stay that way. Here's to the FET working girl!

Bye bye princess

2011-02-19T13:28:00.002-06:00

Wednesday the world lost a princess.... my friend Kellie lost her 4month old daughter Madison. They do not know exactly what happened but she stopped breathing at the baby sitters. My heart breaks for her & her family. No parent should ever have to bury their child. I can't think of anything other than Kellie & her husband and their loss. I can't imagine what she is going through right now. I don't want to imagine it. They are experiencing the worst thing that could ever happen to a parent. Ever. Please go over to her blog and send her some love. May you rest in peace Princess Maddie.

Randomnessnessness

2011-02-08T19:10:00.002-06:00

Collin turned 6 months on Friday!! Wow.. he's gotten so big so fast. I just wish I could stop the clock. He rolls over, says Dada, babbles all kinds of nonsense, sits up w/out support for a min, feeds himself a bottle (not very well though). He's ate all the fruits & veggies and love them! He got his shots today and took them like a champ! He weighs 17lb 8oz and is 27in long. That puts him in the 50% on weight & 60% on height. Wow. I thought for sure he'd be a shorty like his dad & I. He's the light of my life for sure. I am so blessed to have him.
We got a terrible ice storm here last week. Almost all businesses were closed including my place of work. It was nice to have an extra day off BUT Collin was sick ALL week w/a stomach bug. Diarrhea and all. Then he passed it on to me which passed it on to DH. I'm just now starting to feel better and I got sick Friday afternoon. Ugh. I don't think I've felt that bad in my entire life. I can't believe Collin was as good as he was because if he felt half as bad as I did I would think for sure he'd be crying non stop. He did cry a lot but all in all he was a good boy =)
So about the ice storm... it took out one of our monstrous trees in our back yard. It's going to cost us $500 to get it cut down. We're leaving the stump because I'm going to make a picnic table for Collin out of it this summer. I hope it turns out!
Well Collin's started to get fussy so I'm going to get off here... hope all is well w/you ladies!!

New pics!

2011-01-30T09:14:00.002-06:00

Again sorry I've been MIA. Collin ended up having a double ear infection! His antibiotic ran out on Wednesday so we'll see if it comes back again. Grr... 2 ear infections already! Not a good sign! Come on Spring!

Collin will be 6 months on Friday! Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

I suck

2011-01-16T19:12:00.002-06:00

I am such a shitty blogger anymore. I'm sorry guys... I give up on the 365 posts this year. It's already been a week since I've posted. Collin has another cold. Coughing, sneezing, runny nose, Crying almost non-stop. I just wish there was something I could do for him...

Random Ramblings

2011-01-09T18:43:00.004-06:00

~ Christmas party last night was fun. We were home by 11:15! I had like 2 beers. Yeah I'm crazy like that! I was so looking forward to a good nights sleep but I woke up so many times and the first thing I thought of *Collin*. Even when he isn't home he keeps me up at night! LOL

~DH's parents said Collin was an angel! He got up at 1 for a bottle and then didn't get up until 6! Said he just smiled and played all night. Hardly cried at all. WOW. I'm so glad! Hopefully they will offer to keep him over night again sometime.

~Today has flown by! Sundays always seem to but I went grocery shopping today and that was about it and now its almost 7! I love Sundays because they are a lazy day but hate them because tomorrow is Monday. Ack.

~AF has been treating me well again this cycle. Hardly any cramps. Oh thank you lord. Hopefully the endo stays the hell away! I have enough LAP scars I really don't want anymore!

~My diet... what diet? Yeah I suck at it. I'm trying, kinda. I do good for lunch and then eating the cereal for lunch but when it comes to dinner I totally blow it. Pizza, Mexican, McD's. Ugh... I love food way to much! Tomorrow starts another day and I will try, try again!

~I hope you all are having a fabulous weekend and wonderful week ahead of you! Laundry is calling my name...

It's time to paaaarrrtaay!

2011-01-08T11:39:00.002-06:00

I have my work Christmas party tonight and I am soooo excited! I don't get out much these days so it will be nice to have a few drinks and let loose! Collin is staying the night at DH's parents. I say I'm excited now but I will be non stop talking about him and thinking about him all night! I hope he sleeps good for them. Last night he was up at 3:00 for a bottle and then at 4:15 Dh just rocked him a bit and he was back to sleep until 6:30 this morning. Not to shabby! After he gets to feeling better we are going to start sleep training. It wont be fun but we have to. He's eating bananas w/his cereal now and loves them! Welp I gotta get to cleaning!

~I'm not doing to good on this 365 posts in 1 year... I missed yesterday!

Fart Noise

2011-01-06T18:37:00.000-06:00

Collin makes the cutest fart noise. I couldn't get him to do it on the camera but DH managed to!

She found me!

2011-01-05T19:33:00.002-06:00

AF found me today. Oh happy day. I never thought I'd be happy to see the bitch but I'm just glad my cycles are somewhat normal. I had a 34 day cycle which is pretty darn awesome for me! Before I had Collin & before I was on fertility meds my cycles would be like 60+ days. I'm really hoping they stay this way!

Collin seems to be feeling better. He's been in a great mood tonight! His voice is still pretty hoarse but other than that I think the worst of this infection/virus is behind us! He isn't a big fan of rice cereal so we've been giving him some w/applesauce & he loves it! He's had that for 4 nights now so tomorrow we are on to bananas! Woohoo!!

Diet

2011-01-04T17:02:00.002-06:00

I've started the Special K Challenge! If you aren't familiar w/it the 1st meal of the day is Special K cereal. 2nd meal is Special K cereal, protein bar, or protein shake. 3rd meal is what you would normally eat. You are also allowed 2 Special K snacks a day. I'm on day 2 and can I just say this is soooo hard to do! I've never been on a diet in my life but I would really like to get rid of some of this baby weight. I haven't weighed myself in a while but last time I did I was up 14lb from my prepregnancy weight. My goal is to loose it all and fit into my prepregnancy jeans! Lets hope I can stick with it!

I will try....

2011-01-03T20:25:00.004-06:00

I will try and do 365 posts this year. It will be hard but I will try! It's hard to find the time to get on here right now but I will do my best! Thank you all for the advice on my mommy issues. I will keep you posted on how it goes. I'm chickening out to say something right now but I'm sure it will get to me bad enough that I wont stay quiet for long. DH took Collin to the doc today and it turns out that he has an ear infection on top of his terrible cold. He's on antibiotics so hopefully that clears it up. If the cold isn't better in 3 days we go back w/possible steroids & breathing treatments. My poor baby. This pic was taken over the weekend. Wouldn't think he was sick huh? He cracks me up! Getting quite the personality!

Some vents/need advice BAD

2011-01-02T08:03:00.003-06:00

I started the year w/a positive post. Not it's time to be a Negative Nancy! (I don't mean the Nancy we know, just the phrase) hehe

CD32 for me and no AF. What actually made me think my cycles would be that of a normal woman's body? I really did not want to get on BCP but if my cycles continue to be wacky I will have to. My RE was afraid if I didn't have regular cycles I'd be at risk for endometrial cancer. Fabulous. Nothing like paying $30 a month for BCPs. I'm freaking IF people!
Mother. Yes a mother vent. Haven't done that in a while! This will be long so brace yourselves! Remember me telling you a while back that my mom sold her house? The house I wanted to buy? Well she did and she ended up giving my brother $40 grand to pay his house off with. WTF? First of all my brother is the most selfish person I think I've ever met. Hes lazy. He treats my mom like shit and she gives him $40 fucking grand? He doesn't even take care of his house! I have to work for every freaking penny I have and I'm proud of that. She claims that she feels bad because she doesn't have that money to give me too. I don't want her money. I just don't understand why she does me this way? She knew I wanted that house then she sells it and gives my brother part of her profit? I just don't understand. I hate even talking to her anymore because I just want to tell her to fuck the hell off. I've been keeping my cool because I want Collin to know her and I know she loves him to death. But seriously. It's just wrong. My dad is probably rolling over right now. The whole situation is so fucked up. I just can't stop thinking about it. I really don't know how I should feel. I mean it's her money and she can do as she wishes but it's just so unfair. Being a mother now I just can't see how I could ever give Collin something like that and then not give it to my other child. Exp when I know how hard they work and how tight money is for them. Any advice girls? What would you do?
Collin has a terrible cold. I'm going to bring him to the doc tomorrow. He has a runny nose and a horrible cough. I know it's from daycare. I freaking hate daycare. I've been trying to find in home but it's not working out so well. Maybe if I had an extra $40 grand laying around I could take a few years off and stay home with him! HAHAHAHAH. I really hope he feels better. Poor baby.
I'm toying with the idea of going private. I feel like I have a lot of stuff on my mind these days and you guys are my best listeners/advice givers. Maybe I'm paranoid but I don't want anyone I know IRL to read my blog. Exp when I'm probably bitching about them!
I have much more to whine about but I'll save it for another day. Maybe AF is on her way because I'm a tad bit pissy this morning! =)

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T15:41:00.004-06:00

Before & after

It's time to say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011. What a year it has been. Looking back on the year, I'd have to say it's been the best yet!

Dec 2009- Yes this was last year but so note worthy. I got my BFP. One of the greatest day's of my life.

Jan 2010- Rang in the new year with some friends. Got released from the RE and publicly announced our pregnancy. A huge sigh of relief at passing the all critical first Trimester.

Feb 2010-Nothing to exciting happened that I recall.

March 2010- Found out we were having a BOY! One of my favorite moments. Starting picking out stuff colors/theme for his room right away!

April 2010- I turned 26 & Dh turned 28. First trip to the ER due to an allergic reaction from UTI meds. Yeah.

May 2010- My best friends wedding! Nothing like being 6mo pregnant and looking like a cow in a bridesmaids dress!

June 2010- My baby shower. Collin got tones of stuff! My cousin also got married. Got to see lots of family I hadn't seen in years. Good times.

July 2010- Celebrated the 4th w/good friends.

Aug 2010- My poor aunt Marion passed away. Such a great woman. Miss her lots! 4 days later Collin arrives! Perfect in every way! They say when one life ends, one life begins. I believe it.

Sept 2010- Just hanging w/Collin. Trying to figure out how to be a good mommy!

Oct 2010- Back to work. That sucked. Collin's first shots. That sucked. Collin's first Halloween. That was cool. =)

Nov 2010- Thanksgiving at my Mom's. Good food! Wish I had some right now =) Collin tried taters. He liked them!

Dec 2010-Busy busy! Christmas! Open House! Collin's first Christmas! He got lots of stuff!!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T13:36:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas! I hope you all get what you so deserve this year...

Pictures

2010-12-21T20:46:00.004-06:00

A few pic's of Collin at 4 1/2 months. He's starting to really like laying on a blanket playing w/toys. He's rolled over twice! Getting so big. I wish I could freeze time. Everytime he does something new I'm so excited and then I want to cry because I want him to stay a baby forever...

Random bullettness

2010-12-15T19:33:00.003-06:00

Must do bullets for all the updating I have! Sorry so late!

Christmas is only 10 days away! I can hardly believe that. This is the first I have actually looked forward to Christmas in years. It's always been a sad day. Sad w/IF and will all the missing family members. It's still a sad day because I miss the old Christmases w/my family and my dad being here but this year we will have some joy w/Collin. Now I just need to get my shopping done! Ack!
My house has been full of sicko's lately. Collin had it, then DH, then me, then Collin and now I have a stomach ache. I hope it's not coming back around!
AF finally showed up on my door step. I'm on CD 14. I started charting on FF. com. NO I'm not TTC or anything but I'm charting to see how my cycles are. Still got my fingers crossed for some normal cycles. I didn't have cramps w/AF this time so I'm hoping doesn't change =)
My friend that has MTHF that I spoke of a while ago has seen an RE and is going to be taking Lexapro? I think is what it's called anyway and progesterone if/when she is pregnant. She took femara & hcg this cycle so hopefully this works out for her. She's had 4 miscarriages- 3 w/in the last 6mo or so. Please keep her in your thoughts.
DH and I seem to be at each others throats lately. I know it's due to lack of sleep and the fact that we haven't had more than 2hrs alone together since Collin was born is starting to wear on us. We plan to take a day in January to do some shopping just the 2 of us. My mom is going to watch him. I'm excited... I love Collin more than anything in this world but it's time for DH & I to spend some time alone.
Collin is growing like a weed! At his 4mo checkup he weighed almost 15lb! He's getting so interested in toys and even rolled over the other day! He amazes me everyday with the new things he does. He started making farting noises and blowing bubbles. It's so funny!
I know I have a bajillion things I need to say but I'm out of time for tonight... Criminal Minds is on in 10 min. Can't miss it!
I hope you all are well and as always I'm praying for you girls. May you all have a blessed Christmas and I truely hope you all get what you want this year!

Hi girls!

2010-12-13T19:20:00.001-06:00

I'm alive and I haven't forgotten you all! I will post a real post soon. Just been really busy lately! Lots of hugs to my girls!

1 year ago

2010-11-21T20:03:00.002-06:00

1 year ago today I posted this. It was my 2nd IVF round. I remember trying so hard not to get my hopes up like I had all the times before. I wanted it to work, I prayed for it to work and it did. A year ago today I saw my precious baby on a monitor as a tiny embryo and now I look at a 14lb almost 4 month old baby. Amazing. Simply Amazing.

Prayers needed

2010-11-21T09:24:00.002-06:00

Please go over to Tanya's blog and send her your prayers & thoughts. She's loosing her angel today...

He's sick

2010-11-16T17:22:00.004-06:00

My poor baby is sick. He started vomiting and having diarrhea on Saturday and has had it ever since. I took him to the doctor today and they said he has this. Poor baby. I feel so bad for him and I wish I could just take his place. He's been in fairly good spirits though. He was supposed to get his picture taken today but we will have to reschedule. DH stayed home w/him Monday morning and I stayed home w/him Monday afternoon. I was off today. Tomorrow DH is staying home w/him and hopefully he is better by Thursday but if not I will be staying home w/him. This means measly paycheck for us this week. I'm out of PTO days from my maternity leave & DH doesn't get PTO days so that pretty much sucks. I'll keep you girls updated.. send my little guy some fast recovery vibes please!

A few more pictures

2010-11-13T11:06:00.004-06:00

One of his Christmas gifts- an excersaucer!
DH got bored and stuck these in his nose. Haha.

I swear one of these days I will do a meaningful post but for now... quick picture posts is all I have time for!!

Halloween Pictures!

2010-10-31T20:48:00.004-05:00

This was taken a few weeks ago on my front porch.

One of the few pictures I have of him smiling!
Collin the caterpillar!

Happy Halloween!

Damn.

2010-10-29T07:07:00.002-05:00

I still haven't started my period since Collin's birth. What actually made me think my cycles would be regular now? I was hoping to not have to go on BCP but if my cycles are all screwed up I'll have to. If I don't start this weekend I plan to 1- take a HPT LOL why bother right? 2- call my RE to see if he will continue seeing me for my yearly and help me get my cycles on track. I love my RE so it's totally worth the 2 hour drive to see him. I just hope he will keep seeing me... My OB doctor I liked but he doesn't deliver anymore after this year and I HATE the other 2 in this clinic. Therefore I pretty much refuse to go back there. Damn.
Our furnace isn't working. Woke up to 68 degrees in my house. Not cool when you have a 3 month old at home. DH is going to see if he can fix it but if not we'll have to call the heating guys which will cost a pretty penny. Damn.
Did I say I'm broke? Yep. All my bills from Collins birth came in wiping out the savings account pretty good. Day care, Collins health ins... ahhhh. I just wish money weren't an issue. I wouldn't want to be rich but just comfortable would be nice. We need to really work on our budget or the little bit left in savings will be gone. We don't have any credit card debt so that good but... I just feel better knowing there is money in saving if something comes up. Like a furnace going out perhaps? Damn.

Another picture post!

2010-10-17T16:52:00.002-05:00

Blowing bubbles in his sleep!
My little rock star!

~wink~

One of the few times I caught him smiling on camera!

2 month stats!

2010-10-05T13:47:00.003-05:00

Collin had his 2 month check up on Friday. He weighed 12lb & was 22 1/2 inches long. That put him in the 60% for weight & 30% on height. Short & chubby =) DH's family runs on the short side so we knew he'd be a little dude =) He got his shots today and did great! He got one in each leg and cried for maybe a minute after and now he's napping. What a big boy he's getting to be! I'm sure once he wakes up he wont be in the best of moods though. He's still sleeping great through the night... last night he went to bed around 8 & didn't get up until 5:30 this morning. He's taking 4-5oz every 2 1/2-3 hours. We've straited out his tummy problems and he's starting to be such a happy boy. He smiles and coos. I love it!! Every time he smiles at me it makes me realize more and more how lucky I am and how worth every surgery, shot and BFN I got, every tear. All worth it. Never forgotten but so worth it! Yesterday was my first day back at work. Amazingly enough it went well. My mom's watching Collin this week so that made it easier. I get to see him on my lunch hour. He starts daycare next Tuesday. That will be the hard part. I plan to go there on my lunch hour at least the first day! I know it will all work out... just hard leaving him. Well I better get off here and get a few things done before he wakes up from his nap. Hope you ladies are doing well!!

Weird...

2010-09-30T17:59:00.003-05:00

I just had a follow up appt to my 6 week postpartum appt. Long story short my episiotomy wasn't healing right but looks to be doing better now so all is good in the down stairs department =). Anywho... my OBGYN gave me a script for birth control and said he'd see me in year. Weird... first off I'm not 100% sure going to take the BCP's I figure what's the point and IF (BIG IF) I would get pregnant that wouldn't be such a bad thing! Second... A YEAR?? I'm so used to having doctor appt after doctor appt... what will I do w/all this free time? LOL. I just can't believe this journey is over. I'm so blessed and I will never forget how lucky I truly am.

Collin has his 2mo checkup tomorrow... he gets his shots. Ugh... I'm probably going to cry more than he does. He's growing so fast... he smiles, coo's, plays w/his hands... he amazes me every day! Can't wait to see how much the porker weighs now!

Breaking my heart

2010-09-27T11:26:00.002-05:00

This is my last week of maternity leave. It's really starting to get to me. I feel so much anxiety about leaving him. I'm so thankful that my mom is watching him the first week but I feel so guilty about taking him to daycare w/strangers. I know it will be good for the both of us though. I just look at his sweet face and he smiles and has no clue whats coming. He has no idea that mommy time will only be for a few hours in the evening and on weekends. He will spend more time w/strangers at daycare than he will with me. They will probably witness him roll over for the first time, his first steps, his first words. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. I can't afford to stay home or even go part time... it sucks. I'd give my right arm to at least be able to stay home w/him 2 days during the week. I will probably ball all day Sunday.

Pics & update

2010-09-22T09:21:00.004-05:00

He likes the bumbo seat!!
"Worth the Wait" outfit from Izzy!

Hi girls!! How is everyone doing?? Good I hope! We are doing well. Collin has slept through the night twice but usually gets up once in the night to eat. He's 7 weeks old today! Time is going by so fast. He's still doing good on the soy & zantac. Seems to have helped so much. Of course he has fussy times but what baby doesn't? He sleeps great at night but maybe sleeps a total of 1hr during the day. By bed time he's out!! He's been sleeping for about 1 1/2 hrs this morning which is awesome!! I go back to work on Oct 4th. Not looking forward to it! My mom is taking that week off to watch him. He will start daycare on Oct 11th. It's going to be so hard leaving him... just thinking about it gets my stomach in knots. Hope you liked the pictures!

Would you want to know?

2010-09-21T08:39:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about the drama that is going down on Nancy's blog. There is some anon putting some seriously mean stuff about her on her blog. Sounds like the person knows her personally. If it were you would you want to know who it was that felt that way about you or would you rather be kept in the dark about it?

New pics!

2010-09-10T20:24:00.002-05:00

Collin after his bath- Towel that ^J^ made!

Collin & I after bath time
Me & my dude!

Big Yawn!

Pump for sale!

2010-09-08T07:35:00.001-05:00

Hi ladies! I have a Medela FreeStyle Hands Free Breast Pump for sale if anyone is interested! I am asking $300 for it. Only used for a few weeks.

MIA

2010-09-07T08:28:00.002-05:00

Sorry girls... my computer broke AGAIN so I have been MIA lately. I'm borrowing my FIL's laptop today but hopefully my computer will be fixed soon. I don't really have much to report... Collin is still doing really good. Getting up around 1am and 4am in the night which is pretty darn good if you ask me! I'm trying to get him on a schedule and so far we are doing well. We have bath time at 7:30 then bottle and Goo.d Night Mo.on book at 8 then it's bed time! Now we just need a morning routine and we're pretty much set! He's starting to get a little fussy so I better get going. Hope you ladies are well!

A different baby?

2010-08-28T14:32:00.002-05:00

Did someone come and steal my baby and bring me a different one? Seriously... he is like a totally different kid. The Za.ntac and Soy formula seems to have done the trick. Collin hasn't had any colicky episodes since Tuesday I believe and has slept in his crib the last 3 nights! I'm so relieved. I'm so happy his little belly is feeling better! I've stopped pumping since he is responding so well to the formula. As much as I hate to do that because I know breast is best I know this is making him feel better and that is what I feel is the best thing for everyone. He is such a porker! According to what I've read he should be eating about 2 1/2oz every 2-3 hours. Well he eats about 3oz at LEAST every 3 hours. Sometimes every 2 1/2 hours. I told him we're going to have to call We.ig.ht Wat.che.rs but he doesn't seem to care much! =) Seriously though I bet he weighs at LEAST 8 lb now. Which is a good thing! I think chubbier babies are so stinkin cute! Holy cow does formula baby poop stink! So much worse than BF babies! I was not prepared for that!! Also when I was changing him earlier today he peed (this is like the 3rd time I've been peed on) and he got it all over the wall!! Cracks me up! I'm just too slow at changing diapies! Well I'm going to get going... hope this post made since... I'm eating lunch and doing this at the same time so my mind is scattered as usual!

Collin's 3 weeks!

2010-08-24T19:35:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow anyway but DH is tending to Collin's needs so I have a minute to write a little update on my main man. I've switched him to Soy Formula. Please don't yell at me girls. I'm still pumping & freezing in case the Soy doesn't fix the problem. Doctor has also put him on Zan.tac for possible GE.RD. I've been giving him gas drops as needed & gripe water every 4 hours. Today hasn't been so bad but the last few nights have been awful. I feel so bad for him. I just cry because there is nothing I can do to help him. I'm sorry if I've been writing poor me pity party stuff... that isn't my intention. I just need advice is all. I hope I'm doing the right things. I know BM is best but I have to try the soy and see if it helps. MIL bought 2 cans and brought it over tonight. Said to let her know when we're out and she'll get more. How sweet. Formula is expensive! Collin is starting to like bath time! He was so content during bath time tonight. After we went on a walk & just got back. In face he's been pretty cry free this evening until now. I hear him in the living room w/DH! It's only 7:40... hopefully he continues to do well! We'll I better get going... I'll leave you w/a picture! Diapie change! He's not a fan!

Hope this works!

2010-08-21T13:04:00.002-05:00

The nursed called to check in w/me yesterday. How awesome is that? She called me! To see how Collin was doing. Wow. Most pedi doctors that I know of don't do that... I think I'm really going to like this place a lot. Thank heavens! Anywho so the nurse called to check in on us and suggested doing away w/the formula bottle all together and just go w/Breast milk & cut dairy out of my diet. So I've stopped that & went back to nursing. I will just pump a bottle if need be. I did that all day yesterday and so far today. He still screamed pretty much all day yesterday. I fed on demand. No restrictions, no bottles. I'm at a loss. So far he's been good today BUT it's only 1:00. After talking w/my mom & DH's mom we both had colic as babies and had to be put on Soy milk. I'm supposed to call the doc on Monday and let them know how things went this weekend and depending on how the weekend goes I may suggest putting him on the Soy formula and see what happens. I will keep pumping to keep up my supply in case that doesn't work. The nurse also suggested giving him Gripe Water. I'd never heard of it but it's some natural liquid stuff that Wal.gre.ens sells to help w/colic so we've been giving him that every 4 hours as well. Wish me luck ladies! Yesterday was brutal. I was about in tears all day because I felt so bad for him. Just the look on his face like he's in pain kills me & there is nothing I can do about it. Anyone out there w/colic babies have any suggestions or words of wisdom? I can't believe that colic peaks at 6 weeks & it only gets worse before it gets better... this is probably selfish of me to even say this but I hate that my whole maternity leave w/him will be filled w/him crying all day. I feel like we won't get to have any fun together or time to really bond before I go back to work. I hate to wish these weeks away but I have been... just counting the days before he feels better so we can really be a family.

Colic

2010-08-19T16:23:00.002-05:00

Collin might have Colic. I feel terrible. There is just nothing I can do to soothe him sometimes. He doesn't have crying fits often but when he does it's usually about 1/2 hour after a feeding and he goes crazy like he's starving. Starts rooting and sucking on his hands vigorously. I called the doc and apparently that is a sign of Colic and it starts around 2 weeks. He's been eating 2oz of breast milk every 2 hours. Doc said I can give him 2 1/2 every 2 hours but no more than that. She thinks he isn't really hungry... and giving him more will only make it worse. Last night was awful.. he took a 2oz bottle of breast milk at 8 and then screamed bloody murder like he was hungry so I then gave him 2oz of formula... he continued to scream so DH took him on a short walk... seemed to calm him down for a whole 10min. I finally caved and gave him the breast at 10:30 and then he was satisfied. He didn't need all of that... but that was the only thing I could do to calm him down. Hopefully tonight is better. I just have to let him cry and not give in and give him more to eat. It's so hard to let him cry though. I bought a M.o.b.y wrap so hopefully that will help too. Oh and did I mention that I have a clogged milk duct? I'm not getting stressed or anything.. nope. Not me. Not one bit. =) How are you girls?? Someone tell me some good news!??!?!?!

This feels good!

2010-08-18T16:58:00.002-05:00

Today has went perfectly! Collin has took a bottle of breast milk every 2-2 1/2 hours and I've been able to pump every 3 and gotten 2oz+ every time! Seems to be working great. Last night we gave him a formula bottle at 11:30ish and he didn't wake up until 2:30ish. We then nursed at 2:30, 4:30 and about 6:30. When we actually got up around 8:30we started the day w/a breast milk bottle and pumping. I've been pumping when he's sleeping. I feel such a wave of relief. I just hope I'm not jumping the gun here & this actually works! We ran a few errands today- ordered our pictures, went to the post office, stopped by my grandpa's, and got BK for lunch. Fun stuff! haha. He did really good... got a bit fussy in the car but not bad. It's been a good day so far! Hope everyone is doing well! I've been trying my best to keep up w/everyone but if I've missed anything please forgive me!

2 week check up!

2010-08-17T11:53:00.002-05:00

Collin weighed 6lb 9oz at birth and now weighs 7lb 6oz. He's getting big! I had a nice chat w/the doc and decided that I'm going to supplement w/formula and pump. Seems like the best decision for me at this time. I hope it's the right one. At least he will still be getting some breast milk. He's wanting to nurse every hour and cries if he isn't at the breast. Doc thinks he's basically using my boob as his pacifier. We will start using pacies as well to hold him off on eating if need be. I can't feed him every hour. It's just not possible. I sure hope this works... it's stressing me out and I feel awful for not nursing him anymore. Other than our feeding problems he's doing great! Go back on Oct 1st for his 2 month check & immunizations. Ick.

I don't like it

2010-08-13T13:10:00.002-05:00

Breastfeeding that is. I just don't like it. I feel as though I don't do anything else besides feed Collin. He wants to nurse sometimes every hour. I feel so guilty if I stop but this just isn't for me. I started pumping last night but have only got a total of 3oz. I know it will keep coming and I'm hoping pumping will do the trick. Until then... I'm still breastfeeding. Talk me down girls... tell me not to go towards what's easiest- formula. Not that there's anything wrong w/that but I was just so dead set on bf that I'm really letting myself down if I stop after 1 1/2 weeks. I know I just need to give it time.

Picture time!

2010-08-10T19:42:00.004-05:00

It may have taken me a week but here are some pics of Collin! Sorry it took me so long! We are doing well. Trying to get nursing off to a good start but he's wanting to sleep through feedings. Kind of stressful but I'm working on it! He's also wanting to be held when he sleeps so we're having trouble sleeping in the crib and working on that as well! Other than that doing great! Planning on taking a visit to my MIL's tomorrow for a wee bit to get out of the house. We'll see if I make it there!

Tummy Time!
Before we left the hospital. In his own cloths & car seat.

Right after he was born!!

Birth Story!

2010-08-07T18:02:00.002-05:00

Hi girls! Here's Collin's birth story for you... Sorry about the lack of pictures. Hubby is supposed to help me get them on here tonight!

Well as you know I had an OB appt on Tuesday. At my appt I was still dilated to a 2-3 but was fully effaced. Doc said to make an appt for Monday so we left it at that. Well around 2a.m. I woke up w/a contraction. A new contraction. One I hadn't felt before... this one actually hurt a bit. So I kept laying in the recliner and had another one maybe 20 min later. I slept a lot on the recliner during my pregnancy... just more comfortable. Anyway so I then got up and went to lay in bed w/DH and he was awake. I said to him that I thought Collin would be born today because of these different contractions I'd just had. I decided I wasn't going to fall back asleep so I was going to just get up and get on the computer for a bit. So I sat up and felt a gush. I said "OMG I think my water just broke" and got up and went to the bathroom. Of course DH is up as soon as I said that. So I'm in the bathroom... pull down my underwear and its all bloody. Bright red blood. I sat on the toilet and almost immediately there is a clot that comes out and the whole toilet is filled w/blood. I called the hospital and told them what happened. I said I've only had 2 contractions but I just think there is too much blood here to be my bloody show. They said to go ahead and come up and they would take a look see. So we hurry up and finish packing our bags and left. We only live 5 min from the hospital. So by the time we actually got to the hospital which was maybe 30min after I called I had had a total of maybe 6 contractions. We get up into the labor and delivery room, they nurse checks me and I'm dilated to a freaking 9! Yes that's right a 9! I almost shit myself. I was barley even having contractions and the ones I was having weren't even that bad. So my mom and DH's mom and dad get to the hospital but were only in the room for maybe 15min before the doc was there w/my epidural so they had to leave. I got my Epid. and maybe an hour later I was at a 10. My waters were still intact though so the OB on call (not my OB) comes in breaks my water and it's time to push. I push for maybe 30min and then the OB whips out the suction thing and cuts me and out he comes! I was oh so very lucky! I was in labor a total of 4 1/2 hours if you count the minor contractions that begun at 2am until Collin was born at 6:27am. I'm a bit pissed that the OB did the suction and episiotomy w/out my asking for it and there not being a medical reason why we had to get him out right away... I think that OB is a jerk and just wanted to hurry up and go back home. We got released Thursday evening at 6 and things are going well... My milk came in today, which is awesome! I think Collin was getting a little upset that he wasn't getting much from me! He isn't a fan of his crib but we're working on that. He loves his bouncy/vibrating seat. I'm feeling pretty good. My episiotomy hurts but it's getting better. I'm not looking forward to DH going back to work Monday. It's been great having him here to help me. Okay I know this is all over the place and I probably don't make much since but I'm a bit tired! I'll try my best to keep you girls updated on baby! But for now... I'm going to try and take a nap before dinner!

Collin's First Photo Shoot!

2010-08-05T21:25:00.003-05:00

Hi girls! I don't have time to post the pics that we took at the hospital but he had a photo shoot today at the hospital! I know the owner of this place and she came up to the hospital and took these pics for FREE! She is starting the "Hello World" package and wanted to use him as one of her models. Woohoo!! Anywho... go to here hit client viewing at the bottom and then children, pick Collin and password is collin. The more photo shopped ones should be on the "Hello World" link soon. Hope you guys like! We think he's pretty awesome!

He's Here!

2010-08-04T20:23:00.001-05:00

Collin William Lee has arrived! He was born at 6:27am and weighed 6lb 9oz. 19 inches long. We are both doing great! Pics & birth story to come!

39 week appt update!

2010-08-03T20:53:00.003-05:00

Completely effaced but still only dilated to a 2-3. Apparently this is common for first time moms. Doc says things are going perfectly. I go back Monday morning and will most likely be induced at midnight if I haven't gone into labor yet. Doc says I very well won't make it till Monday anyway. I never thought I'd want to be induced... I wanted it to happen naturally but I've completely changed my mind. I'm just so worried that something will go wrong at the last minute that I'm thinking there is no way I want to go past my due date. After that day he's ready for sure so lets just get him out before anything can happen. Maybe that's stupid but I just think of all the bad things that could go wrong like the cord getting around his neck or something and it freaks me out. So anywho... any day for sure now! Wish me luck ladies. This could be the last update you get from me until the big announcement! =) Love you girls and praying for you everyday!

~Thank you for all the condolences about my aunts passing. We got back some of the autopsy results.... they think it was dehydration from her being sick that week and vomiting. The dehydration caused her heart to get off beat which then caused edema in the lungs. Crazy.

Shitty weekend

2010-08-01T14:32:00.003-05:00

Well this was a shitty weekend...

~ My aunt passed away yesterday. She was 58. Out of 7 kids... only 2 remain on my dads side of the family. The 2 that are alive live in California. My family is pretty much gone & I hate it. I hate that my son will barely know that part of our family. We aren't sure what caused my aunts death at this point but they are doing an autopsy tomorrow. Apparently she wasn't feeling well and even saw a doctor on Wed. My grandpa hadn't heard from her for a few days so we went to bring her some soup yesterday and found her dead in bed. She lives alone, never been married, no kids. She either had a heart attack as this runs in my family and killed my dad & one of my uncles, or it was a mixture of her blood pressure meds & booze. She'd become quite an alcoholic since my grandma's death a few years ago, it just killed my aunt. She was miserable and unhappy... I know she's in a better place but I hate that she died all alone. She was a great aunt, we had so much fun w/her as kids but after loosing all her siblings & her mom it just slowly killed her. Her visitation will probably be Wed w/funeral on Thurs.

~ A girl from work who is due about 5 weeks after me ended up in the hospital last night. She was having contractions & come to find out it was a horrible UTI. They gave her meds to stop the contractions but she is now on bed rest for at least 2 weeks. Thank god her and baby are doing good right now though. How scary.

~ What does all of this mean for me? Well I'll be working my ass off next week because we will be short handed, so no more PT & resting for me. And I'll have a funeral to work around as well. All the while I could go into labor at any minute. I'm stressed and fucking upset. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. I'm tired, I'm sore and I want to rest. I'm trying to stay calm because I don't want to go into labor right now, I can't. I was so afraid I would last night... I didn't want Collins birth to be the day of my aunts death, and I don't want to miss the funeral either. Fuck, I shouldn't have to worry about this shit. I'm supposed to be happy and excited right now and all I want to do is fucking cry.

Still hanging out!

2010-07-31T13:44:00.002-05:00

Not much to report... still having contractions sporadically. I'm working part time next week to rest up and get prepared! Next appt is Tuesday at 4... if I haven't went into labor yet that is =) I'll keep you girls posted!! I may borrow my FIL laptop to give a quick update from the hospital or have DH just put something quick on here when he comes home for the dogs. I don't want to leave you ladies in the dark!! Hope all is well w/you girls... sorry I've been a bad commenter lately, my mind is just scattered. I've been trying to keep up w/reading though!

Houston we have dilation!

2010-07-27T11:36:00.003-05:00

Just got back from my OB appt and I'm dilated to a 2-3 and my cervix has started thinning. He could be here any day or could be weeks away but at least it's progress!! I had some more contractions in the night that were somewhat painful but still very, very mild. I'm hoping to make it to Sunday at least. I'm supposed to work this week so I'd like to finish that out then I'm ready!! I have to say getting checked for dilation sucks ass. It was not a comfortable experience what so ever! I'll keep you girls posted!

Completed nursery pics!

2010-07-24T13:53:00.002-05:00

Closet full of stuff!
Bookcase, toy box & frog chair

Changing table/dresser

Crib!

Contractions take 2

2010-07-24T08:47:00.002-05:00

They're gone. Haha. Literally. I may have had 3 in the night and that's it. They stayed pretty consistent for a while and then slow started getting further apart and now... nothing. Must have just been the BH contractions and not the real thing. I feel so stupid.... I really don't know what to expect or what I should be looking for. I've read all the books and took all the classes but still... it's hard to tell what's real and what isn't. Now we keep waiting!

Contractions

2010-07-23T20:50:00.003-05:00

Been feeling them all day. They are sporadic. Sometimes its 2 hours and sometimes its 10 min apart. It feels like menstrual cramps and my belly gets really tight. Having some awesome lower back pain as well. It's getting so close, I'm excited and nervous all in one. Bags are packed for the most part and ready to go! I can't believe this, I still can't. I don't think the shock will ever wear off.

I can't wait to meet you Collin, but not tonight. You need to stay put another week at least okay? =)

Need advice!

2010-07-22T19:24:00.002-05:00

Blood work today confirmed my friends m/c. She has an appt tomorrow w/her doctor so hopefully they will come up w/a new plan for next time. Right now all they are making her take is baby aspirin and folic acid. Is that enough? For those of you w/MTHFR isn't there anything else her doc can do? She really needs to see an RE instead of the shitty OBGYN's we have here in town. I want to tell her that but I don't know if I should or how to say it. I feel so stuck right now. I feel horrible for her and I want to do something but what? What do I say? I mean here I am ready to have my baby any day and she just lost hers. I wouldn't blame her one bit if she didn't want anything to do w/me right now and I wont be upset if she doesn't come around me or the baby. What would you girls do?

Prayers Please

2010-07-21T18:48:00.003-05:00

Hi girls... please send some thoughts & prayers out to my friend who had her 4th m/c today. She has MTHFR. I've mentioned her before. Anyway she was only about 5 weeks along and started bleeding today. I feel horrible. She's loosing her baby as mine is getting ready to be born. I'm glad she has her 2 year old girl... I know that doesn't make up for it but I'm glad she has her to hold onto right now.

37 week appt update

2010-07-20T20:02:00.003-05:00

I had my 37 week OB appt today. Disappointing to say the least. My doc ended up getting called out in the middle of our appt so I didn't get to ask half the stuff I wanted to. I can't be mad at him though... he was needed at the hospital and that will be me in a few weeks doing it to someone else. I just hate that their so busy there... def not the same kind of treatment I got at my RE's office. I miss them like crazy. My OB still didn't check for dilation but should at next week's appt. He said Collin is in the process of dropping but hasn't completed his journey yet. Which means the groin pain can only get worse. Ack. I've slept in the recliner w/a heating pad on for the past 2 nights. I shouldn't complain, and I'm trying not to but it really is painful. When I walk it's just shooting pain in the hooha. Collin needs to stay put for at least 2 more weeks so as long as he's good and healthy I will be fine! Doc says he probably weighs about 6lb right now. Seems to be right on track! They didn't say anything about my Strep B results so I'm guessing that came back negative. That was one of the things I planned to ask him about.... oh well next week hopefully I will be able to nail him w/all the questions I can think of!

36 week belly pic!

2010-07-16T19:51:00.003-05:00

As requested! 36 week belly pic! I think I actually look smaller in this pic than some of the past weeks. This was taken last night after I supposedly dropped Wednesday. Maybe that's why? Groin pain is a bit better today but def still there. May have started the BH contractions as well. They don't hurt but I just feel my belly getting tighter. Could just be Collin moving around too, I'm not sure. I think I'm just over analyzing every little feeling right now. I can't believe he'll be here w/in the next 3-4 weeks. Totally crazy! I'll keep you girls posted w/the progress!

~Oh this picture is taken in my bathroom (same place as the others) that we are remodeling! This is our new tub w/primer on the walls. Ya like? Should be done tomorrow! Woohoo!!

I've Dropped

2010-07-15T06:25:00.002-05:00

People have been telling me this for about a week and I thought they were all nuts. Last night I took a breastfeeding class and got up to leave and oh my god did my groin hurt. I could barely walk. I think Collin has officially dropped and his head is wedged right in the birth canal. I'm waddling big time now and in quite a bit of pain! Won't be long =)

Baby shower pictures

2010-07-08T18:32:00.009-05:00

The loot! Lots of clothes!

More loot! Lots of diapers!

Gift table!

Table Decoration!

Cake & Lemonade table- there was a food tabel next to it but I don't have a good pic of that.

Diaper table/baby pics of DH & I and Collin's u/s pic.

The cake!