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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Having a rough time

I doubt anyone will read this but oh well. I'm having a bit of a tough time lately and I don't think I really realized it until now. I have been so busy with work and kids that I haven't had much time to think about anything else or process how I'M feeling. Stressed out and under appreciated pretty much sums it up. I got a "promotion" at work when I got back from maternity leave. "Promotion" if you can really call it that. I'm now the branch manager which is proving to be tougher than I expected. I was doing most of it before I actually got the title but to be honest I thought it would pay better. After the additional 2% tax increase that went into effect the 1st of the year my pay is no higher than it was before I got the new position. With the new position I'm the one that everyone loves to hate. Not all managers are like me but I really do want to make everyone happy and try to be nice to everyone (it's hard sometimes though when not everyone gives their job 100% effort!) but this job is nothing but give, give, give. You get nothing in return. I don't go home feeling a sense of accomplishment and I sure am not going home with any more money in my pocket (You bite the big one Obama). It seems like it's for nothing. Not only is my job turning into a flop but I feel like I have no true friends. I've said this for years as it became pretty clear when DH and I were doing IF treatments. The person that is supposed to be one of my best friends is barely speaking to me. Her and her DH are going through IF and I have tried to be the best support system for them as I can be. I've helped answer hard questions, gave support, prayers, everything I can. Of course it's hard for them now that DH and I have our 2 little ones and M was pretty much a surprise baby. I know it hurt them but it hurts me too that they haven't come by to see the baby (he's 5 months old today) and we've even invited them over. She text me and keeps me posted on what's going on in her cycle and asks my advice on things but a simple "how are things w/you" would mean a lot to me right now. Anywho the point to my rant is and I'll probably catch all kinds of hell for this but... if you are going through IF don't forget your friends w/kids. They most likely really are trying to be there for you but sometimes they have things they want to talk to you about too. Friendships go both ways. AND ask your boss how their day is going sometime... often times they are forgotten and they probably have some of the worst days out of anyone in the office and a simple jester like that could make their day brighter.

9 comments:

Angie said...

I'm still here! I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I don't have the same kind of work experiences, but I am totally in the same boat when it comes to friends. I thought I was pretty close to the other 5th grade teachers until Lincoln was born and none of them came to the hospital. I wish I lived closer. I'd totally be your buddy! (Hugs)

Anonymous said...

Jayme I too am a working mom and a banking center manager, I can completely relate to how your feeling!! Keep your head up doll, your teaching your kiddos a lot of life lessons by example! Give yourself credit for the way you have worked your way up in your career and are able to provide for your family. I know it's not always easy and sometimes we feel all alone but trust me your not!!!

Christina said...

I still read your blog! So sorry you're having a rough time lately. I want to just let you know that I know how you feel. I think it's the whole working mom thing. I feel like I cannot relate to anyone, even in our new neighborhood. I was hoping to actually make some friends with kids but every single mom I meet stays at home! So they all hang out during the day.

I wish you lived closer too! I need a working mom friend who can relate to things going on :)

Just remember that it's an accomplishment to be a branch manager and you are totally providing for your family. I know it's hard, I hope you get through this rough time soon {{HUGS}}

Lisa said...

Sorry you are having a tough time right now. I know I was guilty of being completely self-centered during my IF treatments so I can kind of see where your friend is coming from, not that it makes it right by any means. I hope things start looking up for you.

Allison said...

(((((Hugs))))) hope things turn around soon, hon. People can be such assholes, esp. at work, when they forget thay managers are people, too.

Jenn said...

Aww Jayme, I still read when you post.... I understand the job thing... I was promoted and got a small raise... SMALL raise... Friends? I wish I had some :(

Erin said...

Friends come and go that's for sure. I worked at a bank for years...I know the stress well. It sucked. It sounds like you might need to change something in your life to make yourself happy!

M said...

I still read every post Jayme! (((hugs))) its hard to not feel appreciated and being in a position of leadership is difficult. I can relate with you on the friend front as since our move I feel like I have no close friends anymore. Life is busy and most of the time I don't even feel like going out anywhere but you are right, it is so nice to just be considered. I hope work becomes more satisfying for you and that you are able to reconnect with your best friend.

Julie said...

I'm late in responding, but I'm still here for you too. I hope things get easier. I completely understand how it feels to be under-appreciated. Just remember that you are doing a good job and try to get some satisfaction from that.

I hope your friend comes around. I think we can be really self-centered when we are in the grips of infertility. I know I have talked to my best friend about this subject in depth and she admitted that I was really hard to be around for a while. I was just so bitter that it was hard to be around her with her kids. Thank goodness she she stuck around and didn't disown me. ;)