Hi girls! I need a place to vent to here goes... I feel like the last 6 weeks have been some of the best yet worst days I've had in a very, very long time. I feel bad for even saying and thinking it but I'm really not all happy wishy washy over the new baby and this new life we have. Some days I wish I could just keep things the way there were w/just DH, me and Collin. How awful is that? Let me explain a little why I'm feeling the way I am. Post partum? No. I'm not depressed not even sad really... just very tired... tired of being sick, sore and more tired. My labor w/Maddox was great. Simple... 3 hrs and he's out. Problem was that I developed a hematoma of the vulva. Don't know what that is? Google it. It's awful. Basically I had a giant hard nut sack between my legs. After 2 week post partum of dealing with barely being able to move let along sit down I went to my doc. She drained it. Big no no. I ended up in the ER no more than an hour later with the worst pain I've felt in my life. They gave me I don't know how much morophine and vicodine. It didn't even touch the pain. Like I said... horrible! I ended up getting admitted to the hospital overnight continuing the pain meds. The next morning the pain was better and I was released. I thought things were looking up... baby was sleeping, I was feeling better and then all the sudden I develop these sores on my hematoma that were open wounds and bleeding. I go back to the doc and she claims ít's normal... it's healing. Well they only got bigger so I went to get a 2nd opinion. This doc says nope... not normal. It's just going to get bigger and infected if we don't do something. That's why I'm here doc! So he puts some packing in and I go back a week later to get it removed. Finally 6 weeks post partum my lady parts are back to normal. Yay! Then what happens? I develop my first ever yeast infection from all the damn antibiotics I was on. Joy. Those are lovely.Collin was sick for almost a whole week over Christmas and now he's passed it to me. Sore throat and cough... And now my sweet baby boy is colic. Yet again. Another colicky baby. Some days I just want to run far far away... this too shall pass. All to quickly. I will miss these days. I will. Just physically and emotionally drained right now. ~Sigh~
Update- I just checked my stitching from my tear and I have a crater near my rectum. Same place that a stitch popped when I had C. I go back to the doc on Wed to have her look at it. I've already had my 6 week check and have had countless people looking at my hooha from the hematoma. How did this go unnoticed? Can't I get a freaking break. From the looks of it the only way to repair this will be to cut and stitch me again. Just when I start to feel normal again. Excuse my language but FUCK! I will update after my appointment.