Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Monday, September 27, 2010

Breaking my heart

This is my last week of maternity leave. It's really starting to get to me. I feel so much anxiety about leaving him. I'm so thankful that my mom is watching him the first week but I feel so guilty about taking him to daycare w/strangers. I know it will be good for the both of us though. I just look at his sweet face and he smiles and has no clue whats coming. He has no idea that mommy time will only be for a few hours in the evening and on weekends. He will spend more time w/strangers at daycare than he will with me. They will probably witness him roll over for the first time, his first steps, his first words. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. I can't afford to stay home or even go part time... it sucks. I'd give my right arm to at least be able to stay home w/him 2 days during the week. I will probably ball all day Sunday.

5 comments:

^J^ said...

That sucks Jayme....I know I'd be the same way. I hope it's not too bad for you. {{{hugs}}}

Jen said...

I think all of us would feel the exact same way. But that's what makes you a good Mommy!

Enjoy your week!

AJ48 said...

Hey girl - I totally know how your feeling right now. It sucks I know. And everyone kept telling me that it will get better and honestly it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I didnt WANT it to get better, I WANTED to stay home with my baby.

I can not afford to stay at home and actually part-time was even more of an expense for us. I do get to work a day from home (on wed) and that helps - could you possible negotiate that with your job? (I dont know if you are able to do something like that)

But hang in there. It sucks, it truly does. I cried for an entire week! And no matter what anyone says - it doesnt make it any better.

But because you are away from him for a good part of the day, ***it makes the time that you do have with your son all the more special and memorable!*** I promise!! I just kept telling my self that over and over again - and it did help a little!

Good Luck Jayme. ((((hugs)))

Steph O. said...

I'm sorry Jayme. That would be hard. (((HUGS)))

Robin said...

The night before I went back to work I held Alli and cried and cried. She was four months old.

But you know what? It got easier. And I wasn't as left out as I thought I would be. And in a little, teeny tiny way, after a while I liked being back at work. It made me feel a little more normal and less like a mommy with none of the old me. I still missed her like crazy, but I felt after a while like a new improved me who was refreshed and ready to see her at the end of the day. Being able to pee when you want and eat food without feeding someone else will do that to you.

Good luck, Jayme..! You will do fine.