Well this was a shitty weekend...
~ My aunt passed away yesterday. She was 58. Out of 7 kids... only 2 remain on my dads side of the family. The 2 that are alive live in California. My family is pretty much gone & I hate it. I hate that my son will barely know that part of our family. We aren't sure what caused my aunts death at this point but they are doing an autopsy tomorrow. Apparently she wasn't feeling well and even saw a doctor on Wed. My grandpa hadn't heard from her for a few days so we went to bring her some soup yesterday and found her dead in bed. She lives alone, never been married, no kids. She either had a heart attack as this runs in my family and killed my dad & one of my uncles, or it was a mixture of her blood pressure meds & booze. She'd become quite an alcoholic since my grandma's death a few years ago, it just killed my aunt. She was miserable and unhappy... I know she's in a better place but I hate that she died all alone. She was a great aunt, we had so much fun w/her as kids but after loosing all her siblings & her mom it just slowly killed her. Her visitation will probably be Wed w/funeral on Thurs.
~ A girl from work who is due about 5 weeks after me ended up in the hospital last night. She was having contractions & come to find out it was a horrible UTI. They gave her meds to stop the contractions but she is now on bed rest for at least 2 weeks. Thank god her and baby are doing good right now though. How scary.
~ What does all of this mean for me? Well I'll be working my ass off next week because we will be short handed, so no more PT & resting for me. And I'll have a funeral to work around as well. All the while I could go into labor at any minute. I'm stressed and fucking upset. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. I'm tired, I'm sore and I want to rest. I'm trying to stay calm because I don't want to go into labor right now, I can't. I was so afraid I would last night... I didn't want Collins birth to be the day of my aunts death, and I don't want to miss the funeral either. Fuck, I shouldn't have to worry about this shit. I'm supposed to be happy and excited right now and all I want to do is fucking cry.