Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Monday, July 6, 2009

I'm tired.

I'm tired. Tired of work. Tired IF. Tired of life. I'm so tired of dealing w/all of these emotions. I'm tired of wondering what my life will end up like. I'm tired of taking meds. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of being angry. I don't understand how I can feel so unappreciated yet feel so worthless at the same time. I feel like life can't get better. Is this as good as it gets for us? Are we doomed to feel this way forever? Will we ever truly be happy? I just feel so pissed and feel so helpless. I feel like I have no one to confine in. No one who gets me. No one who cares to get me. No one understands. No one. I miss my old life, the one where I was happy. The one before "life" got the best of me. Screw this life. I'm tired of it.

14 comments:

Steph O. said...

Oh Jayme, I'm so sorry. I can hear the hurt in your words & I just wish there was a way to make it better.

(((((HUGE HUGS)))))

Anonymous said...

Have you considered seeing a counselor to help you deal with these very strong emotions? Emotions that no one would blame you ever for having...in a totally different situation, I saw a counselor when my husband was dying, and it was probably single-handedly the only thing that kept me sane. A good counselor can help you work through and express those feelings, and also help you keep from having this sadness hurt your marriage. You are right that no one can really understand, but maybe someone on the outside could help you figure out how to do whatever it is you need to do to be happy. Some people are really against counselors, don't know if you are. If you are, I would suggest maybe journaling your feelings just to get them down on paper, maybe also writing down the things that do make you happy. I am just commenting because even though I don't have a clue really how you feel, I've been following your story and I can tell you are heartbroken and really tired of this crap of not having a baby, and I just want to offer some friendship and let you know that others care, even those you don't know.

ssbean said...

(((HUGS))) I was saying similar things not too long ago. That I had nobody, I was alone, I felt neglected, and like every force was against me. That's when I decided to see a counselor. I go ever other week, but I could every week if I wanted to...I probably should. My appointments really help a lot. I get to talk to somebody who can help guide me through some of what life is throwing at me. I also get help for some past things. I really feel a lot better about things and I can tell a slight change in my attitude. Sometimes circumstances just make us need a little extra help. My opinion about counselors is that we all either should see one or do see one as some point in our lives.

Julie said...

(((HUGS))) I hate how IF changes us too. I know I can't make it better for you. I just wanted to let you know there are people who care about you and hope you can find happiness again no matter what life might have in store for you.

Misty Dawn said...

I'm sorry Jayme

((((HUGS))))

Its sad to say, but I feel the same way. :( When will things turn around for us?

Dot said...

Do you think we could all go to group counseling together...seems like alot of us have been feeling the same way lately.

((((((HUGS)))))))

Richelle & Mike said...

Sorry Jayme
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Allison said...

(((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

that's all I got.

elephantscanremember said...

((((HUGS))))

We are here anytime.

Caitlin said...

(((((HUGS)))))

I wish I could take away your pain...

Charlotte said...

Hey Jayme...big hugs and I'm here for you always!!

Robin said...

Oh Jayme.. I'm so sorry. I know your feelings only too well.

However... I am confident that it WILL work out for us in the end. We will find our way some way, some how.

But in the meantime it sucks. :P

~hugs~

Amanda said...

Oh Jayme I'm so sorry. I just hope you stay positive that it will all be worth it in the end. Keep your head up girl. :)

Jen said...

Jayme~

I'm so so sorry that you are feeling this way. I wish there was a way a few of us could get together and just give each other hugs. I think it would be great for all of us.

Please know that I'm thinking of you and I hope everything will work out for you and your husband.

Give me an email or talk on FB anytime. I'm always here for you.

(((((HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS))))