Hi girls! I can't believe my last post was nearly a week ago! I don't really have much to say right now. I'm pretty confused at where & I am in life and where I want to be. I thought that I was accepting what was to be but I'm totally not. I'm not okay w/the fact that I probably will never be pregnant. I'm not okay w/it at all. Frankly I'm pretty pissed off. This whole ordeal has gotten me extremely depressed. I don't feel like the same person at all. No one knows how I feel except you guys and Jake. I just put on the little happy face around everyone else. I will take my last BCP next Monday and also have an u/s that day and will probably be starting stims Tuesday the 28th or so. I'm not excited about it what so ever. I really don't even want to do it. I'm not prepared for the BFN at the end which I'm 99% sure that's what it will be. I know once things get started I will start being more positive about it... just in time to let myself down and start getting depressed all over again over the failure of it all. I've also decided to officially leave WebMd. I haven't made my post yet but I think its for the best. I don't comment on there much anymore anyway and I'm really not the best supporter for anyone right now. Most of the girls I keep up w/have blogs anyway. I just really don't know anyone on there anymore and I'm so fucking tired of people posting their BFP's that aren't even on cycle 12 yet think its okay to come on over. I'm tired of people that have been around for a while but don't have the common sense to put TRIGS in the subject line. They know the rules yet they think its okay to put BFP!!!!!!! in the subject line. See like I said.. I'm no supporter right now. I think I'm just frustrated w/myself more than anything. I feel like I have nothing to say and nothing to contribute on there which is why its my time to go. Of course I will still be keeping up my blog so don't think you all can get rid of me that easy! Anyway sorry for the rambling here... just lots of thoughts in my head right now.
On a positive note... we got a fish over the weekend and named him Chuch Norris. Hehe.