- My mom- I just got off the phone w/her... My cat another vet appointment yesterday for more blood work. The vet just called me today w/the results. Seems as though his blood work is much better and the vet was very pleased w/the results. This of course put me in a pretty good mood. Of course I know he is still going to die but at least I know he is okay for the time being. Anyway, back to my mom.... so I was excited on the phone telling her how well he is doing and she's like "well hes going to die & I'm moving... what are you going to do!" **sigh** She's moving in w/her BF this Spring and is basically making me get rid of the cat. Which means he will have to be put down because no one is going to want a sick cat. She just keeps telling me this.... I got pissed at her and said "I'm sorry for inconveniencing your new life... I'll get rid of him" and hung up the phone. She called back but I made Jake answer it. He told her off.. said she was being insensitive. I love this man! My mom seems to always disappoint me... I cant depend on her for anything. Not even for emotional support. Like I'd really talk about my true feelings w/her anyway.
- I had a home decor party last night. I was really excited about it. I took the whole day off so I could clean my house really well and get my treats ready. I invited about 40 people, 7 showed up. I know people have stuff going on so I was okay w/it... except my MIL didn't come. That really hurt my feelings. I just feel like I don't have a whole lot going for me these days so it would have been nice for people that are supposed to care about me would at least come... even if you aren't going to buy anything. Just be there, that's all I wanted. During the party everyone had to go around and talk about themselves, their kids and so on. My mom said in her intro " I have 2 kids and 3 grand kids... now I'm just waiting on HER to have a baby" all pissy like. Come on mom, that was uncalled for. I just sat there and smiled while everyone talked about their families when all I really wanted to do was go to my room and cry. I did that after everyone left.
- My friend is due to have their baby Sept 2nd... if My IVF would have worked I'd be due Sept 10th. I will forever associate this pregnancy/baby w/my failure. At my party this friend brought in some pics of her U/S. I'm happy for her yes... sad for me even more so.
- I miss my dad. Everyday.. I just want to talk to him. I'm so disappointed that he isn't here and that he never will be again. Its been 2 1/2 years and I still can't get over it. I can't believe I will never see/talk to him again. Will this pain ever go away?
- I'm disappointed at the stage my life is at. I want to have a family more than anything in the world. At a time where I feel like my own family has completely fallen apart I want to make a new one.. one that is truly "mine." Why is that so hard? What can't it happen? I feel so broken inside, so hurt and so cheated.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
This will be a bulletin post as I'm feeling pretty disappointed about a lot of things lately...