- Jakes grandpa passed away this after noon. It's a sad day but I'm also thankful that he went fairly quickly and didn't suffer long. The doctors thought he had brain damage too so if he would have pulled through he would have been in the nursing home on a ventilator most likely which is not the life he would have wanted to live. He was very active, loved fishing and working around in the yard. I owe so much to him for all the work he did on our house. When we moved in every wall (I'm not exaggerating) was wall papered & he'd come over every day while we were working and strip wall paper and paint. We got the work one in 1/2 the time because of him. Jakes grandma was quite the talker and talked enough for the both of them so... grandpa was a pretty quite guy. Quite but always very nice. He will be missed. Christmas Eve he was so funny because we told the aunts & uncles that we were expecting and apparently Jake's mom had already told him. He was just like "yeah she told me I couldn't tell anyone!!" For some reason it just made me laugh. I'm glad he knew he was going to get another great grand baby soon but I'm sad that they will never meet.
- I've been feeling like total crap lately. Not pregnancy wise but just cold/flu like symptoms. Sore throat, runny nose, aching bones. I've been fighting this cold for about 2 weeks. I'm assuming its just harder for me to fight this stuff right now because I am pregnant & because I refuse to take anything for it. Hot tea is my best friend tonight =)
- Yes, I'm still being lazy and haven't uploaded my u/s pics. MAYBE tomorrow! I will get them up though. I need to take my 8 week belly pic for my book tonight but I don't think that's going to happen either.
- Anyone doing anything fun for new years?? We were going to visit friends in Chicago but due to Jake's grandpa passing (Visitation is Friday) we decided we should just stay home. We are planning on going out to dinner and then to our neighbors parents. Apparently they are having a get together there so that should be fun.
- I guess that's all I have for the night... thanks for all the prayers for Jake's grandpa. We really appreciated it.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
On a not so good note... please say a prayer for Jake's grandpa... he's in the hospital and most likely won't make it though the night. We aren't really sure what happened... he's 83 and diabetic. He went into the hospital Saturday w/bronchitis which turned into pneumonia and his kidney's shutting down and the whole 9 yards. It happened so fast... he wasn't feeling well on Christmas but we didn't think much of it... he's very active and healthy for his age. So sad. He's such a nice man.
Also if you haven't already done so please go over to Misty's blog and send her some ((((HUGS))) she could really use them right now...
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
- I think my dog Bree knows I'm pregnant every night for the past 4 or so she has gotten up in the middle of the night and stuck her nose in my face. She follows me everywhere and just looks up at me really weird. I think she is trying to protect me & the baby. She is going to be so awesome w/a baby. She is the sweetest dog. Ellie on the other hand, well she will be pissed that she isn't getting the attention. She is a total lap dog and gets ALL the attention around my house. This won't be good.
- We told a few close friends our news yesterday & today because they were asking what we've found out. They were all super happy for us. One of the friends was the "fertile" one's hubbie. He was ecstatic. Super nice guy. He told his wife "fertile friend" and she called to congratulate me. She seems genuinely happy for us. I've decided to give her ONE last chance at staying friends. I just don't know how much of me being mad at her was due to me being overly sensitive or just down right jealousy. We'll see how it goes.
- We got must of our Christmas shopping done yesterday! Yeah! What a relief! We also went to Bor.der.s books and got a book on pregnancy that helped me figure out what I need to be eating & what I shouldn't. I'm a really picky eater so we went to the grocery store today and bought lots of fruits & veggies that I will MAKE myself eat. No more fast food and potato chips for me! At least it will be kept at a minimum =) I also bought The Belly Book. I've had this book picked out ever since IVF #1. I saw it after an RE appt during that cycle and almost bought it then because I thought for sure I'd get pregnant. I talked myself out of it but couldn't resist getting it yesterday. It has a place for a belly pic each week and you write down your cravings, what you can't stand to eat, smell and that kind of thing. We're taking our first belly pic for the book tonight. Not like there's anything to see!
- I'm going to think up some other things to blog about... I don't plan on blogging pregnancy non stop but for now its just something that I can't get off my mind. Thank you for continuing to read girls... I know how hard it is.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
We paid each of our parents a surprise visit last night to tell them the news. My mom, DH's mom & dad all cried! I don't think I've ever seen them so happy! I just couldn't believe it. We told our brothers today and my brother almost started crying! Which is huge! I think I've only seen him cry once & that's when our dad died. He was so happy! Everyone knows that its super early so not to tell anyone yet but under the circumstances of IVF we had to tell them right away. They knew BETA was yesterday and both of our mom's were so upset all day because they didn't hear from us... they thought it was negative and we didn't call because we were so upset. What a great surprise for them! It was a wonderful night & I just pray that it keeps getting better!
The out pour of happiness from all of you amazes me. It truly makes me so happy to read your comments. It puts a huge smile on my face and makes me believe that everything will be fine & I should just enjoy this while I can! You are all so awesome & I'm so happy I've "met" you all! You are all in my thoughts & prayers as always and I want you all to know that I'm here for you & so hopeful for all of you!
Friday, December 4, 2009
BETA was 328!!!!!!!! I am 100% pregnant!!!!
I have an u/s on Dec 17th so we should know how the little one(s) are doing! I'm so in shock. Seriously... I never thought it would happen to me. Ever.
~Some of you have asked if I've had any symtomes & really the only thing I can think of is that I've been really light headed and dizzy. This has been going on since ER thought so... it could be totally unrelated to being pregnant too.
~I took a picture but it's all blurry. I may upload it tonight anyway.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
~So this might not be true. I'm still not going to get too excited about it until I hear some numbers but... its kind of weird. I really hope I don't say the wrong thing and upset anyone. I've been there so many times & read so many pregnancy blogs almost in tears. I really don't want to be one of those people & please tell me if I upset anyone for any reason. I love you guys so much & I don't want to loose any of you as friends. You guys have helped me through some HORRIBLE days.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
~I took a pic on my phone but it wont send for some reason. IF it's still + tomorrow I will try again.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Me: Oh crap I left that candle in the freezer! Did you know that you can put a candle in the freezer for about an hour, turn it upside down and slap the bottom of the holder & it will just pop right out?
DH: Ugh, ya I'm the one that told you that.
Me: Seriously? How in the hell did you know that?
DH: I saw it on Martha Stewart.
Me: Why were you watching Martha Stewart?
DH: Oh, ugh well I saw some half naked chick on there while I was flipping through the channels looking for the muscle car show so I thought I'd just watch it.
Me: Laughing my ass off.
My husband is such a dork! I'm not surprised that he watched Martha, I just think it's hilarious. I love him =)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
~Some friends of ours are splitting up (the O so fertile one) and has been reported that she said she hasn't loved him in years and if she had gotten pregnant she would have had an abortion. ~They were trying a month ago and was complaining to me that she wasn't KU w/in 3 weeks! That bitch is never allowed in my house again... I will seriously kick her ass. I mean that. That is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard. She needs some serious help. Her soon to be ex just called my hubbie wanting to come over & talk. I feel so bad for him & his daughter. Unfortunately that poor child will get the short end on this. At least she is young (1 1/2) and probably wont remember it.
The moment you've all been waiting for.... ER went well. Much more painful than last time. I don't remember being awake as much and OMG does that needle her like a mother. They retrieved 10 eggs & 9 were mature. They ICSI all 9 so I get my fert report tomorrow. I'll update yall then!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Called the company am waiting on a call back regarding the $200 bucks. I'm not freaking paying I tell you!!
ER tomorrow. Feel like I could barf. Getting really freaking nervous! AHHHHHHHH My ass hurts from the HCG last night too.
Monday, November 16, 2009
I'm extremily pissed off at my insurnace right now so I really don't have much else to say. They are now telling me I've only paid $1500 towards my deductable (not true I've paid $3000 which is the max out of pocket) and that I owe $200 for 8 freaking pills to help w/overstimulation. I'm so pissed right now I could spit nails. I've met my max out of pocket there is no way in hell I'm paying $200 for 8 damn pills!
I trigger tonight and ER is Wedneday ET on Saturday!! Woot! Lots of follies and they were nice big and juicy! =)
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Follie feelings are getting a bit more intense. I feel really bloated and have a lot of pressure on my left ovary. Have an RE appt tomorrow morning and am so excited for it!!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
~ IVF Update~
Had an RE appt today for a follie scan & b/w. Can I just say WOW! My follies have exploded! They are so much bigger and by George I can feel them suckers too! I keep my meds the same & go back Monday. My guess is ER will be Wednesday. EEKK!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Bloated, cranky and having painful follie feelings. Yep drugs are a`workin! Go back to the RE tomorrow so we'll see how things are going then.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Had an u/s & b/w again today... follies are getting nice and plump. I counted about 10 of them. I'm only taking 1amp of menopur now and starting the ganarelix tonight as well. Follistim will stay the same at 75IU in the a.m. I go back Saturday so hopefully things will keep going well!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
~On the IVF front... day 5 of stims went well... I'm starting to feel the little buggers! Keep growing my little follies! Lets hope for big #'s and size tomorrow!
~Also if you read my blog & do not see your blog listed on my blog list to the right please leave me a comment to let me know so I can add you! I want to read you too.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Today I am thankful for...
My Hubbie- He really is an awesome husband. I don't tell him this enough and when I do he thinks I'm just trying to get something out of him. Like tonight for example.. he got off work at 6, ate grilled cheese sandwiches w/me, washed dishes, gave me my shot and then helped me shampoo carpets. He could just be one of those guys that ate their dinner and went strait to the tv (which he did play plenty of PS3 tonight) but he isn't... he really does help out around the house and I'm so glad I married him!
Going shopping w/my MIL tomorrow! Should be a good time... hoping to find some good deals!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
~Thank you all for the recent awards I've received. I haven't gotten a chance to do them yet but I will here in the next few days. Thanks again! I love you girls =)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
That's right... I got fucked. Once again. Right in the ass. I am so freaking pissed, upset, depressed, confused and did I mention I'm pissed??? So ya about this new INS bull shit, well what a damn roller coaster this has become. Let me explain what has went down over the last week or so...
1. Insurance changes Nov 15Th, deductible will be starting over. I wasn't expecting this as every fucking insurance company in the world starts over Jan 1st!
2. New insurance makes an agreement to honor all deductibles paid thus far in 2009. This makes me very fucking happy as I wont have to pay anything for IVF#2 since I've met my max w/my current ins company.
3. I realize this is too good to be true... I will be getting fucked soon. Very soon.
4. Today we have our "new insurance meeting" things sound pretty good... max out of pocket goes down, IF is covered... sound pretty f`in awesome.
5. I get back to my desk and start looking up providers and BAM the ass fucking begins. My RE is NOT A PROVIDER! WTF!! My new INS will take over Nov 15th ,my ER will be around Nov 17-19. I'm missing this by 4 days. Max. I now have to come up w/$5000.00+ for this IVF cycle when I thought I was going to have to pay nothing & I will have to find a new RE.
We were planning on switching RE's if this cycle didn't work anyway but for the love of god... 4 freaking days and I would have been in the clear. 4 fucking day. We are going through w/the cycle... I'll get a loan if I have to. I'm not pushing this back any longer. Not to mention the wait I'm going to have seeing another RE. Looks like any frozen embies I may have will be getting shipped to another RE too. Fuck me this sucks.
~once again I know I'm lucky to have IF coverage at all. I'm so blessed that I do. I'm just so tired of getting screwed over. So fucking tired of it.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
- Had my RE appt- no cysts! I take my last BCP tonight & start 75iu of follistim & 2amp of menopure Saturday. I go back Tuesday for more b/w & u/s. Thank god! IVF#2 is actually here!
- I got the seasonal flu shot today. My arm hurts like hell but I'm glad I did it. Now I just hope it works!
- Looked all over for an area rug today. Anyone know a good online store to find one??
- My computer is ridiculously slow right now... hope to catch up to everyone later!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
So ya... I have an RE appt Tuesday to check for cysts and what not before starting Stim's Saturday. That's right... this coming Saturday I will be starting stims!!! Ugh... I'm so anxious & excited yet trying to stay reserved. I went on The Stir Up Queens blog roll today just looking at IVF blogs trying to find someone that has had multiple IVF's fail and finally succeeded. I found nothing. No one in a similar situation as me. I know there are people out there like me but I'm so scared of this not working. This whole year has been nothing but one heartbreak after another & I just don't know how much more I can take. I'm praying for a miracle here. Please, please, please let this work!
I do plan on doing the vblog thing... I'm not sure how to do it so my DH is going to have to help me. I don't think our camera will take video for very long either... might have to borrow a video camera from my mom. Stay tuned... it may be a while before I can get it done though =)
Monday, October 26, 2009
AF officially showed up last night/today so I start BCP's tomorrow & have an u/s on Nov 3rd to make sure there are no cysts. If I'm cyst free I start stims Nov 7th! Lord let this be it!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Now for an INS vent... I shouldn't even go here because I'm so so very luck that my INS covers IF but... my work has changed plans. Turns out it will be better in the long run. My max out of pocket for the year will be 2200.00! So awesome! The bad thing is that I thought my deductible started over in Jan... now it's Nov 15th!! The week of my IVF! I so wasn't prepared to have to pay $2200.00 until Jan... so now I have to come up w/that. I guess I'll just go pick it off the money tree outside! LOL. So not happy about this! What a perfect time of year for this too... no Christmas gifts from each other this year!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Well I better get going... gotta let the dogs out to potty before Criminal Minds is on! Ahhh I'm a TV junkie!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday was supposed to be a really fun day. I had to work in the morning but that's okay I had a reception to go to that night and planned on having a great time. Well we ended up not really knowing anyone there and got bored so Jake & I left shortly after the dinner. Then a "friend" of ours called and wanted to meet up and have a few drinks. This is the same "friend" that I have talked about in the past that makes the "oh fertile me" comments and totally ripes me to pieces sometimes. I try to avoid this woman as much as possible but her hubbie & mine are best buds so its hard to sometimes. I had no choice... we had to meet them at a bar for a few drinks. That's okay I thought... I'll just get drunk & wont care what she says to me. WRONG! I didn't get drunk (not sure how because I was drinking & sure trying to) and I really cared about what she said to me. I'm not exaggerating when I say she went on & on for an hour saying that she stopped her pill 3 weeks ago and though she'd be pregnant w/#2 by now and how much it sucks to have to wait a WHOLE MONTH to try again, how she really wants to give her hubbie a boy this time & would feel bad if she didn't, talked about making her hubbie get snipped after this because she doesn't want anymore kids, talked about how her hubbie needs to basically do everything for her when shes prego because she is carrying his child.. yada yada I could go on but you get my point. Seriously why in gods name would you say all of this to me? Its obvious that everything she is bitching about is NOTHING compared to what I'm going through and I simply don't want/need to hear this shit. What kid of friend actually does this? I can't stop thinking about this. I can't stop thinking about how she is going to be lapping me any day, another friend is going to get prego any day and I'm going to frigging loose it. I really think I'll go off the deep end. This is just so fucking unfair and I can't take it anymore. Its my turn damnit! Its my turn. After we went home Jake and I tried to have a serious conversation about TTC & adoption. I know I want to adopt but I'm just so afraid of actually starting it. What if I don't get approved? What if we don't make enough? What if they think we're unfit or something? What if they don't like my dogs? Then I have nothing... no chance of being a mommy. I'm just so depressed right now and so overwhelmed w/grief that I really don't even know what to do w/myself anymore. I just want to stay home & stay away from everyone because then I don't have to hear announcements or stupid comments from people that are supposed to care about me.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
As for the "Recipe Week" I'm thinking next week would be good. You can post your recipe & picture any day next week. Just make sure you title it "Recipe Week" so we know that you did it! Hope you all have fun & find some great new yummy recipes!! You may want to explain what you're doing & why so any readers that you have & I don't will understand and maybe they will participate too!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Not much has been going on w/us.... we had a great weekend though! My coworkers took a party bus (w/2 stripper poles!) on a bar hopping extravaganza Saturday night. It was a blast to go out w/everyone from work and just let loose. No stress! I will have you know its very hard to dance in a moving bus! We went to a bunch of different bars in the surrounding area... 1 bar even had two pet pigs! That was interesting! We closed our branch an our early, at 11 and didn't get back into town until 7 and then went out to a local bar after that! I tell you I CAN NOT drink from 11am to 9ishpm ever again! My body just isn't made for that =) Good time though! I'll have to post a pic of Jake & I w/the pet pigs. It's great! Maybe I'll get around to that tomorrow.
I thought of something the other day & let me know what you ladies think. I'm in dyer need of some new recipes... I thought it might be fun to have a "Recipe week" or something where everyone makes one of their favorite recipes and takes a pic & posts the recipe on their blog. That way we can all get some new recipes! Sound like fun?!?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Pain has picked up a bit... just took some more Tylenol w/Codeine.. now time for bed!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Oh and I wanted to Congratulate RICHELLE & JENNIFER on their little ones! So stinkin cute! They are perfect! =)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
1. Who was your first prom date? A "friend" of mine. We never really dated but I think we both wanted to at the time, just never worked out.
2. Do you still talk to your first love? Everyday! I married him =) We've broke up many times and dated other people but we still ended up together!
3. What was your first alcoholic drink? Jack Daniel's Downhome Punch... got really drunk at a party when I was a freshman or something like that. It sucked!
4. What was your first job? Tropical Sno (shaved ice hut type deal)
5. What was your first car? 1993 Chevy Beretta. Pile of shit.
6. Who was the first person to text you today? A friend from work I think.
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning? Jake.. he woke me up and I wasn't ready to get up yet! I wanted to slap him.
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs Keller. She was meaner than hell!
9. Where did you go on your first flight in a plane? Long Beach, CA to visit family.
10. Who was your first best friend and do you still talk? Rachael, and yes... she's still my best friend since 2nd grade!
11. Where was your first sleepover? Stacy's- my parents good friends daughter who is now engaged to my cousin!
12. Who was the first person you talked to today? Jake since he's the one to wake me up!
13. Whose wedding were you in for the first time? Faith- friend from HS
14. What was the first thing you did this morning? Grunted and got in the shower
15. What was the first concert you went to? A Perfect Circle
16. First tattoo? None yet but will be a catfish in memory of my dad
17. First piercing? My ears. Now I have 5 in my ears & my belly button done. I never wear any of them though except 1 in each ear.
18. First foreign country you went to? Jamaica!
19. First movie you remember seeing? The Wizard of OZ. That was like my favorite movie growing up. I watched it every day, no lie.
20. What state did you first live in? Illinois, for ever. =(
21. Who was your first room mate? Jake
22. When was your first detention? HA, preschool? No probably not until 7th grade or something.
23. When was your first kiss? Some little boy kissed me in church when I was like 4!
24. What is one thing you would learn, given the chance? To dance, I love doing it but I suck!
25. Who will be the next person to post this? Meh, no one!
Monday, September 14, 2009
U/S today reveled my bitch ass cyst/endometrioma is still there and hasn't went down in size at all. Lap is scheduled for 7:15 AM next Tuesday.
IVF #2 will be sometime in November hopefully.
Shitty f*^&Cking day!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I'm just a mess right now.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Well IF you dirty bitch you've won again. I am so fucking pissed right now. I have a fucking cyst. How in the hell does that happen when you don't ovulate? Well I asked the same damn question... apparently I've either 1) Ovulated while on BCPs. Highly fucking unlikely considering I don't O on a normal cycle, or 2) I have ANOTHER endometroma which means I get to have another fucking Lap to remove it. Regardless of what the cyst is from IVF #2 is canceled... or pushed back a few weeks at best. They will call me tomorrow w/my blood work so I should know more then. I go back Monday for another U/S in hopes that the cyst has gone down... if not looks like Lap #2 will be taking the place of IVF #2 in a few weeks. Fuck, fuck fuck. I seriously can't even believe this. I am so upset right now... I just this. I just want to quit and say you win IF.
Monday, September 7, 2009
The work trip was good. We ate way to much food! I went to Springfield MO to train on a new teller system we are getting at the end of the month. I am going to be extremely stressed out trying to teach everyone this new system & lucky me... we go live w/it the day I get back from my ET. Shit. I seriously just have to make myself not stress out. That's the last thing I need at this point.
I have an RE appt tomorrow afternoon. I'm getting my base U/S. Last BCP is tomorrow, stims Saturday! Yahoo! I feel like I haven't been to the RE in forever! Well it's been since May I believe. That is a really long time. I actually miss the coochie cam & needles in my veins. Ahh the things we do to get KU! I can't believe IVF #2 is actually here. I've been telling myself that this is it, this is going to work but... I still have that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach that it wont. I'm thinking the odds are against me but I just have to hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
I will update you all on my appt tomorrow. Hopefully all goes well w/no cysts or anything. I'm doubting there will be since I haven't O'd in like 6 months! These ovaries are ready for some stimulation! They've been dormant for too damn long!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
We did go shopping yesterday... I bought the book "Inconceivable"... I've only read 1 chapter but its about a 42 yr old lady w/1 kid and couldn't get KU w/the 2nd due to her egg quality. Not the book I thought it was going to be. I doubt I keep reading it... I just want to find a book I can relate to! I guess there just isn't a lot of 25 yr olds out there w/these problems. Blah. I know there are, there are so many of you girls that are my age going through the same stuff. Its a bunch of BS if you ask me!
Okay I'm rambling because I really don't have anything to say... I'm not even sure why I'm going to go ahead and post this but I am.
I did want to give a shout out to MARGARIET!!! on her BFP yesterday! This is awesome news! It's been too long since we've had a BFP. Congrats M~
I will also leave w/a question...
~ If you could go back in time & change one thing what would it be? Would you do anything differently? Be honest... there has to be something you regret!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Oh & IF... I'm going to win this time. That's right I'm kicking your ass!! BIATCH!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I've been really flipping pissy at work (probably because of Provera/Devil pills). I'm tired of customers and the stupid things they do. They drive me nuts. All of them. I should be working in a cubical, alone. I have no business working w/the public. Due to my annoyance w/people lately I have prepared a list of Do's & Don't at the bank... please follow accordingly to avoid having your head ripped off by an angry, hormonal teller. Please & thank you.
1. Fill out your damn deposit slips. I am not your slave. This is not my job. Your checkbook comes w/deposit slips for a reason. Use them. If you are out we've provided a coupon booth w/a variety of slips for your use.
2. If you have 5 different transactions, have none of your slips filled out and do not know any of your account numbers do NOT use the drive-up. Come inside and save the people in line behind you some time from waiting on your lazy ass.
3. No, I will not print out the last 6 months of statements for you through the drive up.
4. No, I will not open/close your account at the drive-up.
5. No, I am not stealing your money. That is your signature on the check that overdrew your account. Not mine.
6. No, I will not sign the back of that check for your daughter that is away at college. Yes a customer really did ask me to do this.
7. Why do you all have to wait in the first line at the drive-up? There are tubes there for a reason. Don't line up 10 deep for the 1st line when no one is at the other windows and get pissy w/me because you've been in line for 5 min.
8. Get off your cell phone! I shouldn't have to wait for you to finish your conversation to ask you your freaking name because you have no deposit slip and stick cash in the drawer expecting me to read your mind on what you want done w/it!
9. We do not take loose change through the drive-up. Period. You have to come inside for this service. And by God do NOT stick loose change in the tubes. This is just stupid.
10. Most importantly.... take a shower before you go to the bank or anywhere for that matter. I do not want to smell your B.O. It's gross and unnecessary. You can buy a bar of soap at the dollar store for $1.
To be continued...
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter 'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.' 'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women... your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women always do.' What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman thought. Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!' But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life. After more than 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Colleagues forget favors.
BUT......... Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I had my very first Double Blessings Candle party on Tuesday and it went very well. I did $600+ in sales in 2 hours! I hope it keeps coming! It's really making me happy, keeping me busy & keeping my mind occupied. I'm going to do a Fall special for you guys... I know its a pain to send me a check for your order so I've decided that if any of you want to order something this Fall I will personally pay to have the candle shipped to you. All you have to do is email me your order & mail me the check! I will explain more when the time comes but I'm hoping to be able to do something special like that for you girls because you of all people should have one of these candles in your home. They really do smell wonderful!
As I have said before my mom is selling her house. I had to go over there today and officially clean out my room. I went through everything... found lots of old memories. I don't know why but it really mad me sad looking at old pictures from high school & being little. Maybe its the innocents of those days that I miss more than anything. I threw most of my stuff away but did keep some old letters & pictures. I also brought home my old baby doll crib. I just hope to one day have a use for it. If not I guess I will have to give it away. Until then.. it will be in the shed collecting dust. Hopefully not for too terribly long! *wink*
I went to my friends baby shower yesterday. It wasn't so bad. It was a small shower so I guess that helped a little. As soon as she opening the presents I took off. I didn't want to spend any more time there than I had to. I actually won a game too! It's a game where they put a bunch of baby items in a pillow case & you have to guess what they are. HELLO I'm the only childless chick there & I win. Go figure. Ah well I won some Bath & Body Works body wash. Hehe. Love it.
As you all know AF made her appearance on my 4 year wedding anniversary. Bitch. Anywho I called the RE's office to let them know. I have to get b/w to check my progesterone in a few weeks. If no O I will start prover again. IVF #2 will begin around September 12th. ER & ET will be the week of Sept 20th. I had them push things back a few weeks due because a good friend of mine is getting Married Sept 12th. I didn't want to have to miss it because of my ER or ET. I will be on vacation the week of Sept 20th so things SHOULD work out wonderfully!
I'm a guest blogger on Jenny's blog tomorrow. Not sure exactly what I'm going to write about but... you'll have to check it out!
I think that's all I've got for tonight. Time to get back to my book!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I wanted to say I really appreciate your comments to my last post. I have been thinking about seeing a counselor if I don't start feeling better. Especially if IVF #2 fails. I'm about going to have to.
I hope everyone else is doing well. We are due for some happy faces and some good news! Wow... we are like wayyy over due for a BFP! Come on girls!! We can do it!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
- Started provera yesterday. Yes, yes... didn't ovulate again. Oh well like I would have actually gotten KU on a non medicated TAB cycle. HA. We will be doing the same thing next cycle and then start IVF #2 in the end of Aug beginning of Sept. Mixed feeling about this. I'm trying to be hopeful but as you all know, that can be very hard at times. I'm enjoying my TAB cycle and have been trying my best not to think about TTC. I haven't had any meltdowns in a while either. Hopefully this will last a while longer =)
- I still haven't decided yet on my friends baby shower. I go from thinking I'll be fine one day and then thinking I will break down. I need to decide soon and RSVP.
- I got my Double Blessings Candles starter kit so I am officially a Independent Rep! I'm having an open house party on the 14th at my house. You're all invited! Too bad you are all so far away. If any of you would like to order something you can order off the website http://www.doubleblessingscandles.com/. Unfortunately I wont get credit for it but there is no easy way for me to do it and ship it to you, plus have you send me a check. I don't take debit cards, yet anyway. That gets expensive so I'll see how I do first. Eventually they will have the site set up so you can pick your rep (which would be ME!) but it's not ready yet. I'm so excited about my party & getting started. I just hope it's not a waste of time!
- I have 5 flippin` weddings this summer. Been trying to find a dress & I FINALLY found one today. I got it at Maurcies for $44! It's pink and oh so very pretty! I took a picture on my phone to send to one of my girlfriends.... in the process I see that a diamond (it's fake of course.. kinda of like a broach on the front) was missing! Give me a damn break! I'm going to take it back BUT the kicker is... that was the only one in my size. Damnit!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
- I had my consult today w/our RE. Basically he said he thinks we should definitely do anther IVF cycle and we should try and not get discouraged that it hasn't worked for us. He said that everything went perfect as far as the ovary stimulation, embryo quality, lining.. yada yada yada. He said he won't change anything on our next IVF because the first one went so well. There is basically not a damn reason why things haven't worked for us. That may be good or bad. I don't know what to think. He said there is no reason to think that we will NOT get KU this next time. As far as the past FET's have went... they went perfectly as well. He did say that the grade of embryo's weren't as good as w/the IVF but that was to be expected as we used the best ones for the IVF. I think we are still going to make an appt w/another RE just to say what he says. I'm currently on CD13 and will have a progesterone b/w done next Friday to see if I've ovulated. If not I will be put on Provera and will start BCP the following C. Should have ER & ET the beginning of Sept. I'll keep you all updated on what I decide to do.
- I'm still feeling very depressed & I can't seem to shake it or think of anything else lately. I am enjoying my TAB cycle but it hasn't really took my mind off IF much. One of my friends (friend that started trying months after me, got KU on her 1st try) had her daughters 1st b-day party over the weekend. I was happy to go but it made me very sad. I'm just so afraid that I will never get the chance to have a 1st b-day party. I've been thinking lately of the things I may miss out on. I know I just need to try and stay positive but... it's getting harder every day.
- After my appt today DH & I went to The Olive Garden for lunch and then did a bit of shopping! He has been bugging me to get a Garmin Navigation System for a while and I finally gave in. He was messing w/it the entire time I went into the mall & Gordmans! I didn't buy much... got a new pillow for a chair (Bree tore the last one to shreds), got some new panties from Aerie & a pair of jeans & a 2 cute t-shirts from AE. We were going to to the movies to see Hangover tonight but.. it was 5:00 by the time we got back home & we really don't want to leave the dogs another 2 hours by themselves. Hopefully we can go this week sometime. I hear the movie is hilarious.
- I haven't started selling the candles yet. I'm still waiting on my starter package. Turns out the lady that makes them computer crashed so she is unable to make the labels for my kit. Hopefully I'll get it soon so I can get started. I'm already in the hole $100 bucks and haven't even payed for the kit yet! Haha. I'm so excited... I've got business cards, set up my checking account, bought a planner & lots of other random things I think I may need to get started. I'm going to have to sell a lot of candles to make my money back!
- I know there was tons more stuff I was wanting to say... my mind is starting to wonder and I'm starting to get tired. I think I'll go lay on the couch!! I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I've been such a bad blogger. I just don't feel like I have much to say right now... selfish I know. Just been kind of laying low.
Monday, June 8, 2009
AF is being a bit better today. No more cramps and the flow has slowed down tremendously. Thank god. I thought I was going to have to start buying stock in Playtex!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
My beta was a BFN, which we already knew would be but that was last Monday. I'm on CD4 today and OMG AF has been terrible. I've had cramping and really heavy flow mixed w/clotting. I've been going through a tampon at least every few hours. I even bled through a tampon, my underwear & my pj bottoms Friday in my sleep. Talk about gross. I'm sure its just from all the extra progesterone but geeesh. AF hasn't been this heavy for a long time. We meet w/my RE for a consult Tuesday so I will let you all know how that goes.
We didn't end up going on a trip this weekend. We did go out to dinner at Chili's last night (about 1hr away) and went to Staples (also 1 hr away) to get some supplies for my candle selling (I'm so excited about starting it!). We are still going to try and get away for a weekend soon. Hopefully very soon.
Speaking of getting out of town... Friday night Jake's dad called and wanted to talk to Jake. I really didn't think much of it but later I asked what his dad wanted. Jake just started crying (very strange for him to do that) and said his dad was saying that he really wanted us to go on a little vacation together because we just aren't the same anymore. He can tell how hard this whole IF has been on us and thinks we really deserve it and he would pay for our cabin (insert jaw drop here). He told Jake that he misses the old, feisty me. He misses me telling him to "fuck off" and just being the carefree person I used to be. This of course made me start crying, so here we are crying over the old us that is gone and will never return. Its really sad. We used to be so happy go lucky and now it takes a lot to even get a smile or laugh out of us. I hate the way we are. I know a weekend get away will not bring that back but I do hope Jake and I will have a good time just being US... not IF US.
I hope all is well w/the rest of you & I will try to catch up w/you all this week.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Jake and I decided that we are in dyer need of a get away and we need to do it fast. Emotionally we are spent and we need some positive "us" time. We are looking into going on a nice road trip (about 6 hour drive) and stay in a cabin in KY next weekend. I'm not sure at this point if we will be going for sure or not but I'm really hoping it all works out. We would be spending the weekend hiking and basically just being out doors and relaxing. Our cabin will have a hot tub which I WILL be letting Jake get into =).
Our next step is to have a consult w/our RE & an RE in St Louis that a friend of mine went to. I want to compare what the two think and what their protocol will be. We plan to do this over the next month or so. We are also planning on starting the adoption process this summer too. I'm anxious to start both things. We will be TAB from TTC for the summer and plan to spend it having fun and trying to do things for US.
I will be POAS again Friday and then again on Sunday. BETA is Monday.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Out of the 4 frozen embryo's we had left only 2 made it. We had one 8 cell grade B & one 6 cell grade B. Apparently that's what they were at when we froze them so they haven't grown at all. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. The RE seemed kind of neutral about it. I'm really disappointed that only 2 made it but I just have to be positive that one of those 2 will pull through this time. BETA is June 1st.
I hope everyone else is doing well. Hope to catch up soon.... for now its back to bed rest.
Friday, May 15, 2009
At the funeral I had some of the stupidest stuff said to me. Not about grandma but about my IF and FET coming up on Monday. Not sure who told the world (probably my mom) but OMG!! Half of these people I barely even talk to. I couldn't tell you how many "I'll be praying for you Monday" or "You just need to relax and it will happen" comments I got. So many that at one point I actually said to someone... "You know, relaxing isn't going to do shit for me, I'm young yes, but that doesn't mean squat. Don't tell me to relax." I probably just should have let all of that roll of my shoulders but... I had to speak up. It was driving me nuts. And #1 worse comment was said by a close relative that has known what was going on for along time (My mom tells him everything). At the visitation in front of EVERYONE standing outside he said LOUD as hell... "HEY Jayme, are you still trying to have a baby or have you given up?" I just glared at him and said "Yep" and walked inside and shut the door behind me. COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE! Who does that? Seriously? Like being there didn't suck bad enough, I had to deal w/stupid IF comments from dumb people for the last 2 days!
As always thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Grandma's visitation is today... I'm not looking forward to it. Not that anyone ever is but... I really hate these things. I've seen far too many deaths in my short 25 years of life. Many friends, uncles, Grandparents, my Dad. I could go on but you get my point. I ~loathe~ visitations and funerals. When I die I don't want to have a visitation and funeral I want a big party. Maybe a big kegger w/a bond fire where everyone can celebrate life.
I almost forgot to tell you all... I apparently have a mouse living in my car. That's right my CAR! I have had many peanut butter crackers being eaten and I went to eat a piece of gum last night which I keep in my car... yep little chew marks on my bubble gum! We put traps out last night but haven't caught the little bastard yet. How disgusting!
I hope to be able to catch up w/you all this weekend. Sorry to make this so short but I need to pick up the house a bit and start getting ready for the visitation. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. Love you guys!
Monday, May 11, 2009
- My grandma passed away today. She'd been sick for a while and was in the nursing home. It breaks my heart to know that she is no longer w/us. She was such a great grandma. I remember spending countless nights at her house. I had so much fun there. I just feel so horrible for my mom... she's now watched her dad die of cancer, my dad die of a massive heart attack & now her mom of old age, dementia, and a hodge podge of different things. The visitation is Thursday and Funeral on Friday. God I'm going to miss her.
- I had an RE appt this morning. My lining was at a 8.4 and estrogen was 208. They like for the estrogen to be at 250 so now I'm taking estrogen orals on top of my patches. My transfer will not be Thursday.. its looking more like Monday or Tuesday. I go back Thursday morning so I should know for sure then. Great... at least it didn't get canceled. Yet anyway.
- Work sucks ass. I swear if one more piece of equipment breaks I'm going to loose my fucking mind. Everyday its the same old crap. It wouldn't so such a big deal if something broke down BUT the piece of equipment that keeps breaking is a major machine that we use to count money everyday.. because of the pile of poo my drawer was off $20,000 today. At least I figured it out! If I had to show my drawer off that I probably would have lost my job. AND IT WASN'T EVEN MY FAULT!?!?! Damn machine!
- I will probably be very busy this week w/the funeral and helping my mom w/stuff so I'm sorry if I don't get around to comments for a few days. I love you all & I hope everyone has a much better week than me!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Thank you Jenny C for the award! Now I have to nominate 5 other Super Bloggers... I nominate Dot, Margariet, Sherry, Misty & Steph. They are all super Super Bloggers =) I could nominate tons more as I love all the blogs on my blog roll to the right BUT I can only pick 5 =(
Now for the random boringness of my life.
- I have my FET in exactly 1 week. Yeah, yeah I'm getting a BIT more excited about it. That is a very small BIT though. I'm still mostly just wanting it to be over so I can try and collect myself and decide what the hell I'm going to do next.
- People at work are driving my banana's about baby talk. Grr... how much can people talk about babies! Its really getting to me. What am I to do though? It's not like I can say "Hey prego's can you stop talking about your babies while I'm around? I don't want to hear it all day." Probably not the best thing for me to do.
- Lupron has been giving me the worst f`in headaches. All I want to do is lay in my room in the dark. Light sucks.
- So Saturday at work we are passing out flowers to all the mom's that come in for Mother's Day. Yeah I'm lucky enough to have to work this Saturday. Just what I want to do, pass out flowers to mom's. Not my idea if you hadn't noticed.
- I guess that's all I have to say today. My head is killing me and I can't think clearly. I'm going to lay down for awhile!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
On a different note.. the weather here is horrible! It wont stop raining. I'm so pissed because we planned to go shopping for flowers and get them planted this weekend. Looks like we will be shopping for them but it will be a while before they get planted. Its supposed to rain all next week too. Blah.
I've also been thinking a lot about Mothers Day this year and the fact that I think its a shitty holiday. I think all women should be celebrated that day. Are any of you doing anything for yourselves that day? Does your hubbie get you a gift? I was talking to Jake about it and I think we might get each other a little something for Mothers/Fathers day just to make ourselves feel somewhat special that day. Your thoughts on the subject?