Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

You must be kidding me

This is an email I just got from my crazy cousin after I told her I couldnt make it to her wedding because we would be doing IVF. What the fuck do I say back to this? I swear I am so fucking pissed off! If she didnt live halfway across the US I'd punch the bitch right in the face!

Hi Jayme!
Thanks for letting me know. I am so very sorry you two are having trouble getting pregnant, but I must warn you against Invitro. No, I had no idea you were thinking of doing anything like that, and I must tell you "Don't!" And here is why. I babysat for several years for a family who decided to do invitro because the father got a vasectomy and the reversal left them trying for a few years to get pregnant taking hormone shots etc etc. They did invitro and she has 2 beautiful twin boys Gibson and Lucas, who I took care of from infant to about age 2. She knew I was a devout Catholic and one day she came to me with tears and her eyes saying that she had been up crying on her knees all night because she had said the act of contrition prayer I had given her, and weighing on her mind was the fact that there are now 6 other embryos in a laboratory that were formed from her egg and his sperm and she didn't know what to do with them. She didn't want to have them all and she wasn't sure she wanted to give them to someone else. I couldn't believe it, what a terrible matter of conscience for a person to have to bear, and all because she wanted another child. I told her she ought to talk to a priest, but the whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach.
I know it must be so hard to be patient. Many of your friends have children, and believe me, I can't even imagine how badly you must want them. I want them too, and I have certainly thought about "what if" i can't. However, I already know invitro is not the answer.
The answer, I believe, is heartfelt fervent, continual prayer to God and sacrifice. That's the answer, and I truly believe if you do this, God will give you a child. Don't put yourself in that position to be responsible for robbing souls from God by creating these babies only to sit in a laboratory and eventually die if no one wants them. What about adoption?
I may not change your mind, but pray about this before you do it, and please take into consideration the grave ramifications of such a decision. Besides, then you could stop wasting your time and money at these fertility clinics and let the Divine Physician (Our Lord) take care of you. I think as soon as you would do that you would get pregnant. As soon as you let go and let God.
God love you and bless you if you will only do His Will. I am going to pray and offer up what I can for you and Jake. Please consider what I have told you. Miss you! Love you!
Take care and hope to see you at the wedding!


nancy said...

This would be my response, well, the "meat" of my response...

If it came to having to make a decision of "left over" embryos, donating them to research or destroying them is really no different than what could happen in ANY non protected cycle. An embryo does NOT equal baby. This is a huge mis-conceived notion that destroying an embryo is destroying a baby. But in fact, the embryo is no further ahead in growth than it would be if an egg fertilized and was coming down the fallopian tube in a "natural" cycle. The embryo could implant or not. So, if you are saying IVF is killing babies, ~you~ could be doing that in ANY cycle in which you didn't use protection. But Thank you for your opinion on something so close to my heart and something that has taken a lot of thoughts to get to this point. I'll be sure not to include you in any of my future updates since you have told me how you feel. Bitch."

Okay, maybe I'd leave out bitch, but this whole thing of "embryo = baby" is BULLSHIT. So in my case, out of 9 fertlized embryos, 8 babies DIED? No, 8 embryos didn't make it. HUGE fucking difference.

margelina said...

Wow, Jayme. I'm sorry you have such an insensitive relative. My brother and SIL are fanatical Catholics to the extreme, and I could see them saying something like this, too. While I have never had to think about IF and IVF for myself, I have close friends who have. Personally, I feel that yes, God created us, but he also made us smart enough to have developed such magnificent science that can help carry on human life when nature fails. I'm not expert on IVF or IF, but I understand that IVF is giving someone a chance to have a baby, to carry a baby, and that in itself should be the focus. But really, the only opinion that matters is yours and DH's. I'm still sorry your relative is a wackadoo!

Jen said...

I'm so sorry your family is so rude and unthoughtful. I can't believe a family member can say such horrible things.

I would tell her to but the hell out of my life. If I wanted advise from her I'd of asked. This decision is somting that only you and your husband can anwer. No body else's opinions should matter. I maybe a bit moody and emotional these days but I'd leave in the BITCH part too.

Sorry you got such a hurtful letter from a member of your family.