Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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Sunday, August 10, 2008

*Sigh*

Well... I don't know where to being about this post. This is about something I never really talked about on here but I'm feeling the need to vent about my situation. I'll start from the beginning...

My family is utterly screwed up. All of them. In some way shape or form our family is nuts. My grandpa is the biggest ass hole you would ever meet. He seems nice to everyone else but treats his family like crap. Treated my dad like crap. Out of the 6 children he had 3 are dead (all boys). Including my father. My dad passed away Aug 29, 2006 at age 50 from a massive heart attack. Nearly 2 years ago. I'm convinced its mostly my grandpas fault from all the stress he put on my dad & for the horrible way's he treated him. See my family owned a pet store. We sold pet food, pet supplies, put up fences, janitorial supplies. Really just a hodge podge of different things. The business used to do very well but my dick of a grandfather wouldn't change anything. To compete w/walmart & petsmart you have to make changes. You have to have reason for customers to want to go there. My dad wanted to make those changes, Grandpa didn't. After my dad died we closed the store nearly 1 yr later. My dad owned 1/2 of the business. Ended up being a big battle w/my dads estate as my grandpa thought my mom, brother & I shouldn't get squat. This fight took almost a year to complete. Grandpa spent most of the businesses money on stupid stuff just so we couldn't have any. My mom, brother & I ended up splitting $30,000 and that was that. $10,000 for losing my dad 1/2 of which is gone due to IF treatments. I don't know how much my grandpa came out w/but I'm assuming an ass load. I'm sure he has thousands & thousands. This fight basically broke up the entire family. We barely talk to any of my relatives on that side of the family. Mostly because of my mom. She talks shit about my aunts all the time. I hate it. I miss my family & would love nothing more than for things to go back to normal. They never will. No more Christmas & Thanksgiving w/them. As for my mom... which is actually the reason I started writing all of this to begin with, she has turned out to not be a mother but more of a bad friend. See.. a year ago (1yr after my dad died) she met this douche bag who is 20 years younger than her. Yep that's right 20 years. He went to school w/my brother. Actually they used to hang out together some but my brother always thought he was a munson. So this second brother I have inherited moved into my parents house. The very house that my dad died in and is sleeping in the very bed my dad died in. Royally fucked up. My mom thinks shes back in high school again. Acts like shes 16. After my dad died I did EVERYTHING w/her. Keeping her busy. Having her over for dinner, going shopping, anything. We were like best buds. Than she meets DB (short for douche bag, that's what I call him) and has no time for me, by bro or my bro's kids. We barely even talk. Friday was her birthday. I had to work plus my aunt had a heart attack (shes okay) so I knew we couldn't get together that night. I asked her if she would go out for lunch w/me today so I could give her her gift and stuff. Shes too busy w/DB. They have to go grocery shopping or some shit so she cant have lunch w/me. We haven't went out to lunch since March I think. Actually that would be the last time we did anything together other than going shopping out of town about a month ago because DB had to work & she had no one else to do anything w/. What she doesn't understand is that I need her. I need a mother right now. I've always been very independent but I need a parent in my life right now to help me get through this shit we call infertility. I was there for for her when she needed me. Why isn't she here for me? When my dad died I laid all my emotions aside so I could help her cope. Which only made things worse for me in the long run. I'm still trying to cope w/him being gone. I still feel like it just happend. The best way to explain how I'm feeling is that I feel like an orphan. I feel like DH is the only one I can talk to. My friends suck too. I'll save that for a later post. I just want support & a mom. I don't think that's much to ask for, do you?

6 comments:

Christina said...

thanks for the comment you left earlier Jayme. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I just want a mom like other girls have that goes out shopping with them and talks about personal things and I don't have that. I don't even have a good friend to talk to. I guess that's why I'm on here to release all of that. Hope things get better for you.

Earl Gearl said...

Jayme, I'm sorry you can't turn to your family for support. I hate that about IF and life in general. Sometimes the people who should be the most understanding are the ones that say the worst things.

Also, you can have at copying and pasting my last blog. And I don't mind if you use my name or anything. I just hope it makes some people think twice about what they say.

Jen said...

~Jayme~

(((((HUGS)))))

I'm so sorry you are having to go thru all of this. I'm also really sorry that you don't have your family behind you, giving you the support you need so much right now.

I really hope things get better between you and your mom. Maybe you should sit down and explain to her your feelings. Do you think she would get it? It might be worth a shot to have your Mom back.

I will be praying that everything works out well for you. You are in my thoughts.
(((((HUGS))))) (((((HUGS)))))

Samantha said...

Jayme I just want to say I know exactly how you feel. Its harder when it is someone who you used to be close to rather than a mom who has never been there. You wonder what you did wrong to make her not want to be your mom anymore. I can honestly say I'm going through pretty much the exact same thing right now and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with it too. ~major hugs~

nancy said...

I'm sorry. ~hugs~

~*JaYmE*~ said...

Thanks girls. You guys are awesome!!

Sam- I read your post too. I'm sorry for what you are going through. We are going through the same thing. Sucks! Plus its even harder that we dont have our dads to vent too.