Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Scared

Reality is finally setting in. This whole time I've been TTC I've feared never being able to have children but deep down thought "oh its going to happy dont worry." Now I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm realizing that this may not be so. I'm realizing that IVF may not even work for us. I've went from thinking clomid was a big deal (Ohhh its gonna work I'm so excited shit) to beginning the process of IVF. I just have this sick feeling in my stomach about all of this. I'm absolutely terrified of my RE appt on Tuesday. I'm afraid they are going to say my cysts are still there and havent went down or worse that they have gotten bigger. I'm on CD11 and have been spotting dark brown since CD6. I know it could be from the BCP & cysts but I'm kinda freaking out here. I feel like I'm starting at square 1 again. I havent spotted like this for quite a while. This just really fucking sucks. Just thinking about babies makes me sad. Pregnant people make me sad. I have 3 cousins that are pregnant right now & I'm so damn jealous of them. I just want a baby so bad & the longer this is going on the more I want it yet I know there is a chance it may never be. I'm just a bit depressed right now guys. Sorry for the pitty poor me party...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Infertility fucking sucks. That's the bottom line. I'm so sorry you are feeling discouraged.

Margriet (from WebMD)