Sunday, July 13, 2008
I can't do this. I cant. If I keep getting negatives I dont know what I'm going to do. My last cycle nearly killed me. It hurts. I cant even explain it. I feel like I'm dying inside. What am I going to do? Do I keep doing IUI's. Do I TAB for a while? I dont want to stop, I cant stop. I've never wanted something so bad in my entire life nor have I tried so hard to get it. I've always been happy with what I have but not anymore. There is no way I can be happy without a child. No friggin way. How do I keep smiling? How can I be happy for people w/children who treat them like shit? I'm so depressed. I really thought this was it. I have no hope left. I know 11DPO is early but come on. I know its going to be - the next day & the day after too. I'm done being positive. It gets me no where.